


Letters from no one

by Psychoodkiller



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:12:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 32
Words: 26,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7434802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychoodkiller/pseuds/Psychoodkiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year without notice his secret admirer. A year would be enough for someone to fall in love with him? And why the person would take so long to declare? It wasn't just fear, Remus knew. Who was writing those letters? A lot of questions without answers. He was confused, but deep down, had a wish, a desire that the person who wrote those letters were who he wanted, but... He would know how to deal with it? And the person would know how to deal with him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The elves' heads

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something about letters and I thought in this title and... I found very appropriate, so... I was searching for something about the title and... There's a fanfic with this name, very Drarry, but the context was another... So... Fucking coincidences. :c I can't think about another title, because... There's really letter from no one in this story. And I really thought about Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.

He woke up feeling a strong smell of a potion that he really didn't know what it was for. A strong light crossed his corneas and he quickly, instinctively closed his eyes to protect himself. The light and the smell, unfortunately, didn't have hindered him of forget his stomach ache and the horrible taste that was in his mouth. He had forgotten what had happened. He was used to forget some things, At least on the period that he wasn't in Hogwarts, he never knew what had happened. A woman came towards him, wore a light green apron over a white dress. On the apron had a symbol that he cannot identify at that time. The light was powerful and strong, so he had to work a little. He closed his eyes and when he oppend it, he was able to identify the symbol. A wand crossed with a bone. _"But what the hell am I doing in this place?"_ , he asked himself mentally. The woman looked at him and giggled.

_\- I'm glad you're awake, we thought we had lost you._

_"Lost me? What the fuck did she just say? What am I doing here?"_ , he kept wondering, but couldn't open his mouth to speak. The woman pointed her wand at him and, with a move, unglued his lips.

 _\- Who are you?_ \- he asked - _What am I doing here?_

 _\- I'm the healer, Freya, and you are here because of stomach aches and..._ \- she hesitated - _I'm sorry... I had to seal your lips, You were vomiting a lot, I had to give you a potion for nausea and for sleep, but you kept vomiting, and this includes the potion for nausea, so I had to keep the potion acting that way, I'm sorry, orders from above._

It didn't helped and the bedroom light was still burning his eyes and his stomach was still hurting and...

_"You idiot, they feel honored by that..."_

The flashes began to emerge on his head, he blinked his eyes, trying to get used to the light of the place.

_"But dad, I'm afraid..."_

And more and more images and...

_"Your brother is younger and has no fear. You're a coward"_

And laughs and screams.

_"Uncle, he's just a boy... Stop with that... Stop!"_

Andromeda. But... What was happening? What had happened?

_\- Honey, are you okay?_

He didn't care in not concealing the truth raw and cold.

 _\- No. And I don't understand what's going on here. You changed my memory, didn't you?_ \- and he sat on the bed - _WHY YOU CHANGED MY MEMORY?_ \- he yelled.

The healer got scared and took a step back.

_\- There are things that aren't worth it to remember, dear._

He felt betrayed, but... And if she was right?

_\- Where is Andromeda? Where's my cousin?_

_\- She's in the fifth floor, drinking tea._

_\- When do I will get out of here?_

_\- Tomorrow. Andromeda brought your things and you go straight to Hogwarts, rest assured._

He felt relief, didn't know exactly why.

_"Sirius, open the door. It's me, Andy... Open the door, please..."_

And more pictures.

_"Alohomora!"_

And then he remembered... Perhaps the Obliviate spell hadn't worked too well.

\----------------------------------------------

He was with his eyes half-opened when the room's door opened. Andromeda came towards him and kissed his forehead.

_\- How do you feeling?_

He tried to smile.

 _\- I am... As you can see... I just..._ \- He hesitated _\- The memory spell doesn't work on me._

The woman shut her mouth with her hand, stifling any hint of scream or accelerated breathing.

_\- How?_

_\- The spell doesn't work on me, I remember everything. The screams, the laughs, the elves' heads laughing at me and talking to me, as if they were alive..._ \- he widened his eyes, smiling _\- But no one believes... Maybe I'm crazy, I don't care. I remember the Acromantula venom, burning and burning and burning_ \- and his expression changed completely _\- I'm not supposed to be here right now..._ \- he said putting his head between his hands - _WHY NO ONE LET ME GO?_

Andromeda was weeping.

 _\- Because... There are still good people in the world, Sirius... And I'm one of them. There are not only bad people. You're not a bad person, Sirius_ \- Andromeda said.

_\- So... Why they talk to me? Is this some sort of punishment, right? Why am I being punished if I'm not a bad person?_

Andromeda thought for a while, before answer.

_\- Good people are punished the whole time... and the more they punish, more the, supposed, weak grows, plus... The more they punish, more the, supposed, weak... Stay strong. Then the strong punish bad people. This is why the pain exists. You're not weak, but they think you are and the more you resist, more you stay strong. Don't give up, Sirius..._

_\- I try to understand it, but I really can't, I'm sorry. The elves speak louder and I can't hear you._

\----------------------------------------------

The next day, Andromeda led Sirius to King's Cross before his uncles notice them. Sirius entered the train, sat in any cabin and stayed looking at Andromeda.

 _\- Don't give up on you!_ \- She said.

_\- I will do my best..._

Then more people started to climb on the train. James and Peter entered the cabin where he was, sat and tried not to touch the subject.


	2. The magical properties of chocolate

During the Sorting ceremony, Sirius wasn't happy. He smiled when heard his brother's name, but then, the smile disappeared when he looked at Narcissa, on Slytherin table. The girl yelled and clapped. He forgot all the good things that could have in the world.

\-----------------------------------------------

Remus looked at him. Happiness seemed run from Sirius, like a rat running away from a cat. Remus shook Lily's arm, the girl looked at him and he pointed to Sirius.

_\- Don't worry, Rem. Must be one of his madness attacks._

Remus was bothered by what the girl had said. So, his attention returned to the Sorting hat on the head of Sirius' brother.

 _\- Slytherin..._ \- Sirius said with a low voice.

He looked at Sirius and listening to the verdict of the Sorting Hat, Sirius stood up from the table and went up to the common room. Remus stood up. Lily held his arm for a moment and he can only read his friend's lips _"It's not worth it"_ , he withdrew from the Great Hall when the girl dropped his arm and went towards to the common room after Sirius. Before entering the dorm, heard Sirius talking to himself and hesitated.

 _\- Je suis un imbécile! Stupide! Comment pourrais-je penser?_ \- and Sirius kept talking with himself.

Remus opened the door and entered the dorm.

_\- S-Sirius..._

_\- QUOI?_ \- he yelled, and then, looked at Remus _\- Oh, My God... I'm sorry... I'm..._

Remus approached shyly.

_\- You're not feeling good, isn't it?_

_\- Non... But it's not a problem. I'm going to be fine, I always get well, right?_

_\- I k-know we're not f-friends, but... I know something that can help... I'm sorry if I'm interfering and..._

_\- You're not interfering at all, it's okay, I'm sorry I yelled at you..._

Remus smiled and blushed. Put his hand in his raiment's pocket and removed a chocolate bar.

_\- N-no problem. You didn't know it was me. Could have yelled at anyone._

Remus took Sirius' hand, opened it and put the chocolate on it.

 _\- Why are you giving me this?_ \- he giggled.

Remus smiled, but it wasn't a smile of joy, it was a smile that hid a world of things.

_\- The muggles say that releases a hormone in the brain. Endorphins... And this hormone makes the person feel better. This is a chocolate bar made by muggles, I always remember my mother when I eat and somehow let me even better. My father bought me some chocolate frogs in Hogsmeade, are tasty and... And also work, but... Maybe you feel good eating this._

Sirius smiled and bit the chocolate. At the same time felt the warm body and his brain vibrate with a little shock, his muscles relaxed and he felt embraced, all the pain and all the bad thoughts came out of his mind, the Sorting Hat's voice melted and he forgot, at least for a moment about the Slytherin Prince. His brother.

 _\- How? How this..._ \- he said confused.

Remus smiled.

 _\- I don't believe in the chemistry of chocolate, I believe in magical properties. Muggles don't believe, only my mother. When my father saved her from a boggart and saw that she was scared and afraid, he gave her a chocolate frog, after that he bewitched the frog for it stop moving_ \- Remus laughed shyly.

_\- Merci, Remus..._

_\- Sorry, I don't speak French..._

_\- Pardonne-moi... I mean, sorry._

_\- Don't be sorry... It's okay, eat the chocolate_ \- and, saying that, he smiled at Sirius - _I don't think you're crazy as Lily says..._ \- and left the dorm.


	3. Introduction letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it's only because of the letter, just an... Introduction letter.

When Remus woke up, looked out the window and the summer sunshine made him wake completely. The bed's curtains of James, Peter and Sirius were closed, so he could go take a bath without any problems. He got up and went to the trunk to get the towel and uniform, under the trunk, however, had a parchment. Remus took it and opened it quietly, he didn't want the others to wake up.

 

_" **D** ear Remus, _

_A year without you noticing me was enough for me to do too many wrong things away from your eyes, was enough for me to say too many wrong things away from your ears. They changed my memory about some things and I still remember everything, I remember what the elves told me and I remember how I felt bad about it. They changed my memory about things that are convenient for them to change, but they don't know how I feel about you... And your name, your face, your kindness and simplicity they will not be able to erase from my mind even for a single second and, if I'm subjugating my enemies, if they could change my memory, I'll remember somehow, because I remember everything. And your face will come back with more force to my mind and will fill every space of my heart, as always..._

_Let's play this game, guess who I am..._

_**Y** our secret admirer _

_**PS** : If you want to answer, leave your letter under the rug in front of the fireplace"_

 

Remus' hands were shaking. Who had put that letter there? And why someone changed that person's memory? Who would do a cruelty like that? Who had written that letter? He knew girls could enter the boys' dormitory, but why a girl would like him? He was confused. And how he would answer? What he would write? He decided keep the letter inside the trunk and go take a shower.


	4. A thousandth of a second

Sirius wasn't very good in Defense Against the Dark Arts, it was a fact in his life, if he knew defend himself in a successful way would not have so many problems. He had made a promise to himself, he would be at the top of the class. The students waited for the Professor to arrive, in front of the class. Sirius was with James and Peter. Remus with Lily, Alice and Frank.

 _\- "Defence Against the Dark Arts Classroom. No cursing allowed"_ \- James read out loud _\- It was here last year?_

All heads turned to look at James.

 _\- Yes, it was_ \- Remus said.

Sirius smiled when he heard the boy's voice, but then read again the warning on the door.

_\- The Ministry should prohibit everyone to use that shit..._

James looked at him.

_\- You okay?_

_\- Oui, seulement... Je suis malade._

James raised an eyebrow.

_\- Sorry, mate. I don't understand French._

_\- Pardonne-moi..._

Before James could answer, the Professor came in and, walking among the students, opened the class' door.

_\- Come in... Please. If Mr. Filch notice this mess, everyone in here will go to detention. Including me._

Sirius and James laughed. Entered the class. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw's second year students occupied all the space of the class. The professor asked the students to form pairs, so the class turned into chaos, a battlefield. Lily was with Alice, James with Sirius, Peter with Frank and Remus with Xenophilius, a Ravenclaw's student... The boy seemed out of place, far away from where he was, but Remus had absolutely sure that all external silence and that distant gaze of the boy were caused by a brain that thought non-stop and was agile.

 _\- Very well,_ \- the Professor said - _I want you to disarm your colleagues, a useful spell, which sounds simple but requires some agility and observation. Check it out... Hm... Mr. Longbottom, come here._

_\- Yes, Sir._

_\- I'll let my wand pointed at you and I'm not going to make a move with it. All you need to do is disarm me... Can anyone tell me what's the name of this spell?_

_\- Expelliarmus_ \- Remus answered.

_\- Five points to Gryffindor. How long you need to disarm the opponent?_

_\- Time is relative..._ \- Xenophilius said.

 _\- I agree_ \- Said Remus _\- However, in this case, I would say... A thousandth of a second._

 _\- And why do you say that, Mr. Lupin?_ \-  The professor asked.

_\- 'Cause Frank's brain is agile._

_\- And what happens if two people cast the spell at the same time?_

_\- Time is relative..._ \- Xenophilius said again.

_\- I agree again, Professor. The probability of the two people disarm themselves at the same time with success, in this case, is eight percent and the probability of something going very wrong is ninety two percent. So, I would say that Xenophilius' right. Time is relative._

The Professor was confused and tried to resume it.

 _\- Thank you, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Lovegood_ \- and turned his attention to Frank - _Disarm me._

In a thousandth of a second, exactly, Frank Longbottom disarmed the Professor. Sirius looked at Remus and smiled. The Professor then thanked Frank's demonstration and asked the students to train. Remus and Xenophilius cast the spell at the same time and what Remus had said before happened easily. The two wands flew free in space. James opened his mouth.

_\- What?_

_\- A thousandth of a second, Jam..._ \- Said Sirius forgetting his promise for at least forty minutes.


	5. Clever girl

The way to Herbology class was warmer than usual, the summer was hotter than usual. The grass was burning the students' feet that walked up to the greenhouse and James looked at Lily, red hair, flashing and burning with the sunlight.

_\- She's so beautiful that I want to die._

Sirius felt a knot compress his throat when when he heard it. James couldn't wish that, because what do you want can come faster than expected. In a moment you are appreciating what life has of more beautiful and in the next moment you are lying on the ground, unable to breathe. Sirius looked at Remus who walked with Lily, then his eyes sparkled and he understood what James meant. James didn't said that on a literal sense. He remained looking at Remus and felt like crying.

_\- Don't say that, James..._

James followed Sirius' gaze and realized that he was looking at Remus.

 _\- He's a strange guy,_ \- James said - _we live with him for a whole year and we really don't know him._

Sirius felt the knot compress even more his throat and thought that perhaps a cigarette could help, Ted's cigarettes, but Ted wasn't on Hogwarts anymore. He tied his hair in a bun on top of his head and looked away to the warm grass.

\----------------------------------------------

Remus looked at Sirius, and even a few metres away, he could feel a scent of vegetable amber mixed with a vetiver smell and red alder and looked for the boy's white face, now red from the sun.

_\- Hm, Lily... I need to tell you something._

The girl looked at him.

_\- Yes?_

_"And your face will come back with more force to my mind and will fill every space of my heart, as always..."_

_\- I got a letter..._

_\- From who?_

_\- I dunno... I..._ \- and he blushed _\- I... I..._

_\- Yes?_

_\- I think I have a s-secret a-a-admirer._

Lily smiled.

_\- And this surprises you?_

Remus couldn't look Lily in the eye. He pulled out the letter from one of his Cardigan's pockets and handed to Lily. The girl took the unfolded parchment, nicely and began to read.

 _\- How could this person had the memory changed? What does that mean?_ \- the girl looked at Sirius with the corner of her eyes and then returned to look for the parchment _\- I don't know why they changed this person's memory, but Remus, answer this letter._

_\- I... I... I Don't know what to say..._

The girl folded the parchment and handed it to Remus.

 _\- Be honest, try to clarify these issues. If I'm right, that person, whoever it is_ \- and looked again to Sirius _\- will leave a clue about who it is and what happened to it._

\----------------------------------------------

Remus sat down on his bed and put a parchment on a book, took the wand and waved it in the air.

 _\- Lumos!_ \- Put the wand on top of a pillow and began writing.

 

_" **D** ear, I-don't-know-who-you-are, _

_Be careful with the things you do or say, people aren't always prepared for our actions or to hear what we say. I'm surprised, believe me, I don't know how anyone can like me that way. You told me you were saving it for you a year ago. That means that we've met before, right? And if you asked me to leave the letter under the rug in the common room, is because you're a Gryffindor, right? I would like to have more clues, because then I could be honest and try to explain everything in my reach, because... I'm not good with relationships, as you should also know... And, I have a few problems, many problems... And... Why they changed your memory? The Obliviate didn't work on you? What the elves told you? I don't understand... I'm sorry. If you give me more clues, I can guess who you are. Thanks for the letter, even scared, I was happy to read it._

_**R** emus Lupin _

_**PS:** Never underestimate your enemies. You don't know what weapons they have, even if they let you saw... What's on the surface doesn't scare as much as what is buried inside of people"_

 

Remus took the wand.

_\- Nox!_

Said moving the wand in the air, he opened the curtain and walked out of the dorm, went downstairs and put the letter under the rug.


	6. They put a spell on me, it makes me die

The Great Hall was almost full of students, everyone having breakfast and talking animatedly. Sirius was reading a book of astronomy, while James talked with Peter. Then a shadow covered the shining sunlight that was reflected on the pages of the book that Sirius was reading.

_\- S-sirius..._

James and Peter looked first, then Remus turned his attention to the boy who was standing in front of the Gryffindor table. Sirius didn't want to look at the boy, but couldn't avoid.

 _\- Que faites-vous ici?_ \- Sirius asked without look at the boy.

_\- E-en fait, j-je suis venu m'excuser._

Lily looked at Remus and Remus raised an eyebrow. James looked at Remus and Remus could read what James said _"What the hell is going on here?"_

_\- Por quoi? Tu ne m'as rien fait._

_\- Tu me manques, Sirius._

_\- Moi aussi..._ \- Sirius smiled - _Try not to act like an idiot, please..._

Regulus giggled.

_\- Je ferai de mon mieux._

Sirius got up from the table and hugged the boy.

 _\- C'est pas ta faute_ \- Sirius said and when looked at Narcissa in Slytherin table, kissed Regulus' forehead and left him go to his house table _\- Merde!_

_\- Hm... Sirius..._

Sirius turned to James and James looked at him scared.

_\- Oh, ce n'était rien , vraiment..._

Remus laughed low and looked at Sirius.

_\- Hm... Sirius, I'm sorry to interfere, but neither James nor anyone speaks French._

Sirius seemed bewildered.

 _\- M-my brother..._ \- he said with difficulty - _Came to apologize and I told him it wasn't his fault_ \- Sirius blushed.

\----------------------------------------------

Remus wasn't bothered with the fact of not knowing how to speak French, in fact, he found it very interesting, but he couldn't say that for anyone, even for Lily, who would probably say that Sirius was crazy, end. On spells class, Professor Flitwick ordered the students to write an essay about the harm caused by spells cast inappropriately. Sirius raised his arm. He was pale.

_\- Yes, Mr. Black._

Remus looked at Sirius.

_\- Excuse Me, Sir... I'm not feeling very well._

Sirius was shaking and he had dropped a little ink on parchment.

_\- What you're feeling, Mr. Black?_

_\- Ne m'appelez plus jamais comme ça!_ \- and Sirius began to tremble even more.

 _\- Por quoi?_ \- Professor Flitwick asked.

_\- Je ne sais pas pourquoi, d'accord?_

_\- It's okay, Sirius..._ \- Professor Flitwick hesitated _\- You'll go to the hospital wing. Hm... Mr. Lupin, can you take him?_

Remus seemed surprised and blushed. Looked at Lily and the girl nodded.

_\- O-of course..._

Remus got up and went to Sirius, grabbed the boy's arm and placed it around his own neck to help him walk. They were in the hall when Sirius looked at him, didn't want Remus to understand.

 _\- La potion était la solution, pas le problème..._ \- Said.

_\- Sirius, what's happening? What you're feeling?_

_\- Headache..._

Remus opened the door to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey went to him.

 _\- What happened to him?_ \- Asked.

_\- I... I don't know... He was writing an essay to P-professor Flitwick, but began to tremble and h-his face has changed color._

_\- Je vais b-bien..._ \- and Sirius fainted.

Remus went down to get him and Madam Pomfrey helped. They put Sirius on one of the beds.

 _\- He's going to be f-fine?_ \- Remus looked at Sirius, scared.

_\- Yes, I can assure you... If I can help you, I can help anyone, my dear... He's going to be fine._

_\- I'm sorry, I didn't want c-cause any t-trouble..._

And Sirius woke, he was blue, as if someone was squeezing hard his neck.

_\- M-erci, Rem... Je vais b-bien..._

_\- What?_ \- Remus asked putting his hand on Sirius' forehead.

_\- Thanks... I'm fine._

Madam Pomfrey dismissed Remus to come back to class, but Remus left hospital wing reluctant. Looked, one last time before leaving, at Sirius and Sirius smiled at him.


	7. Thank-you letter

Sirius has recovered, but Madam Pomfrey just let him out at night. McGonagall had taken the boy to the common room, he went silent. James and Peter went towards him.

 _\- You okay, Sirius?_ \- Peter asked _\- We thought you were dying._

_\- I'm fine, Pete... I just... I had a panic attack. Madam Pomfrey gave me a potion and I'm new again, light as a feather, I just need some sleep..._

_\- But... Sirius..._ \- James said.

 _\- Tomorrow, Jam... Tomorrow... Today... I'm not me today. I... Only tomorrow..._ \- and went upstairs to the dorm.

Remus remained quiet, he was not in a position to say anything or do anything, his body was aching, his head too, his muscles was wriggling involuntarily. He couldn't ignore it, unfortunately. Remus looked at the window, the moon almost full, but... Not that day, he had things to do, an essay to complete. Shook his head in an attempt to make those thoughts go away.

\----------------------------------------------

 

The other day, Remus woke on the common room couch, with a parchment on his legs and the essay in half. It was Saturday, so he decided to give himself a break, went upstairs to the dorm and went to bed. On the pillow, however, there was a folded parchment. Another letter.

 

_" **D** ear Remus, _

_I always watch you from afar when you're distracted, reading a book or chatting with your friends. I wanted to be your friend too, but I don't really know how to act in front of you... Asking questions like these... Probably I would stutter and you would say that I'm an idiot. Maybe I am, maybe the Elves are right. Maybe I'm not worthy of happiness, maybe you deserve a better secret admirer. I just know how to write actually, but I wanted to say. Say everything I feel right in front of you, because it only grows and grows and grows and I no longer have any control over that. I'm a coward. I don't know why that stupid hat put me in Gryffindor. I don't think I'm brave. I'm sorry if I frightened you, it wasn't my intention. And anyone could love you. Yes, we met. I can't give you clues, that would be the end of me and... Oh, Remus. I'd protect you with my life if I could, I don't have much to lose. A few friends, maybe. But I think it's understandable. They would do the same for the people they love, I'm sure. Yes, they changed my memory, or at least tried and they justify this by saying that it was for my own good. At first it worked, but I think that... They changed my memory too many times that might not work anymore. The elves are laughing at me, Remus. They know my secrets, they scream at me, they whisper things into my ear, they tell me that I don't deserve you and I don't think so. But it only gets bigger and stronger every day._

_**Y** our secret admirer _

_**PS:** I don't underestimate my enemies, because I have no way, they are stronger, larger and numerous. They have the advantage of me and my magic... And I'm a rebel puppet. They move their mouths slightly trying to control what I say, but I speak in another language. A language they don't understand, as I said, a rebel puppet"_

 

Remus finished reading the letter and started to cry, he didn't know why was crying, maybe he was too sentimental, he knew the reason, but he didn't want to accept, was in denial for eight years. He dried his eyes with the sleeve of the sweater and saw a phrase at the bottom of the letter.

 

_"Thank you, Remus. Thanks for exist"_


	8. Astronomy domine

James and Sirius were lying in their beds talking about Christmas. Sirius was trying not to give up on himself, but it was a little hard, because he didn't want to think about Christmas. It would be a hell. Remus entered the dorm and started putting some clothes in a small suitcase. He was pale and trembled a little, the muscles wriggling, curling up in knots, strong knots. Sirius looked at him.

_\- Are you ok?_

Remus didn't looked at Sirius, kept putting clothes in the suitcase.

_\- I-I'm... I'm f-fine..._

Sirius and James realized Remus' shaky voice.

 _\- You don't look well... You don't look well at all..._ \- James said - _What's happening?_

 _\- I-I said I'm fine!_ \- said Remus trying to hide any evidence of fear and anger.

Sirius got up from his bed and went to Remus.

_\- Remus... Where are you going?_

Remus looked at Sirius.

_\- Visit my mother._

_\- She's ill again?_ \- Asked James.

Remus started to tremble even more and he felt his muscles burn.

 _\- Yes..._ \- he took the suitcase _\- I... I must g-go now..._ \- he kept his head down.

 _\- Don't you want help with the case? You don't look so well..._ \- Said Sirius and put his hand on Remus' shoulder.

Remus felt the muscles relaxed for a second, but he got rid of Sirius' hand and the muscles began to twitch again.

_\- No! Thanks... I... Have to go._

And withdrew from the dorm as quickly as he could. Sirius sat down on his bed, still looking at the dorm door.

 _\- I have the feeling that he's lying..._ \- James said.

Sirius nodded

_\- I was concerned, Jam... He was shaking a lot and..._

Peter entered the dorm. He was astonished.

 _\- What was that?_ \- asked - _What's wrong with him?_

 _\- We don't know, Pete... But his mother, I'm sure, is not ill_ \- James Said.

Sirius remained silent.

\----------------------------------------------

Astronomy classes were at night. The head girls and boys took the students to the astronomy tower and waited outside talking to each other. While no one needed the darkness, to be able to use the telescope, all students lit up the tower with their wands.

 _\- Lumos!_ \- the teacher said _\- Please, light your wands too..._

 _\- Lumos!_ \- the students said in unison.

 _\- Very well..._ \- she said and approached the students _\- Before you watch the full moon aspects, we will talk about how the moon influences men... Anyone want to start?_

Sirius raised his hand. The teacher nodded.

_\- The moon emit some frequencies that alter the frequencies of the human's mind._

_\- Correct... Five points for Gryffindor_ \- said the teacher - _What Mr. Black said means is that the frequencies that the moon emits act directly on people's feelings, their emotions, desires. Does anyone wish to continue?_

 _-_ _People's mind is divided into two parts. The conscious and the subconscious_ \- said Narcissa - _On subconscious mind we have several recorded information that define who we are. Our nature and personality, but no one is able to think about what exists within the subconscious._

 _\- Five points for Slytherin..._ \- said the teacher _\- Anyone else?_

 _\- This information we have in our minds are catalysts for all the things we think and for all our actions, so... That information and our thoughts have frequencies too..._ \- Said Sirius - _And although the frequencies emitted by the moon are subtle, they reach the frequencies of our thoughts that are also subtle and the information that exist within the subconscious mind go to the conscious mind and when that happens we are able to understand the information of the subconscious mind that before we couldn't understand._

_\- Great Merlin, Mr. Black. Ten points for Gryffindor!_

James looked at Narcissa and shook Sirius' arm.

 _\- They got five points, but the face she's doing is from someone who lost the House cup..._ \- James Said.

Sirius laughed.

 _\- Yes... And after losing threw a rock through the House point hourglasses_ \- Sirius said laughing.

The teacher allowed students to look through the telescope and asked for them to take notes. Narcissa was the first, observed the moon for about two minutes and took her notes. Lily observed for a minute and a half, took her notes and called Alice to observe too. Alice observed quickly, her brain working faster than had previously worked, she took her notes. Peter was next, observed the moon and its size, he freaked out, took a deep breath and took his notes. James observed for about three minutes.

 _\- Get out of there, Potter!_ \- said Sirius.

James took his notes quickly. So Sirius looked through the telescope.

_"And if the dam breaks open many years too soon and if there is no room upon the hill and if your head explodes with dark forebodings too... I'll see you on the dark side of the moon"_

The moon shining like a huge diamond, its craters forming shadows on Sirius' eyes. A tear. A tear mixed with all that light, forming, then, a tiny rainbow in his eyelashes. It was more powerful than the sun. Silver and white and shining and big and dangerous. The wind waved Sirius' hair and the heat was gone. The moon seemed so cold at the time, but he didn't knew where the sun was, so he didn't knew the moon's temperature. His heart and breathing speeded.

 _"...the frequencies that the moon emits act directly on the people's feelings, their emotions, desires..."_ , He thought about Remus. Quickly began took his notes and joined James and Peter.

\----------------------------------------------

_"There's someone in my head but it's not me"_

In its brief moment of sanity, it looked at the wooden floor, it was dark, but it could see, the blood, was gray. Its huge paw spread the blood with rage, tearing a piece of wood. It balanced the body on the hind legs and one of its front legs began to push things, with strength, with effectiveness. The sound of the plastic jug falling on the most treble key from the piano that was there, hurted its ears and it flinched, biting its own arm, tearing a large part of the skin.

_"And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear. You shout and no one seems to hear"_


	9. Miserable, weak, sick and loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a date error in here, but it's ok :c

Remus woke on the hospital wing. Tried to get up but couldn't, he felt miserable, weak and sick. He was still shaking, as if all the heat of his body had been sucked. He looked around trying to find Madam Pomfrey and, at that moment, she wasn't there. He had to sit without help. And when he got up, he saw that, on the table, was a parchment. He tried to stretch his arm to get it. His muscles betrayed him and he started to cry, but opened the parchment and began to read.

 

_" **D** ear Remus, _

_I came here one of these days to get a potion for stomach aches and headaches and I saw you lying, sleeping. It broke my heart. Madam Pomfrey didn't want to tell me what you have, I hope it's nothing. I hope you get well soon and act like the "I know everything" as usual. I brought you a book, you may find it interesting. I've never seen you reading this book before, so I guess maybe you haven't read... It's a muggle woman's book. Merlin is one of the characters in the book. It's funny, because the muggles think he didn't exist or think that he was only an adviser to the King Arthur... But I like the way she described Merlin... Live up to him and what he represents. Maybe a good book will help you to recover faster. And if you could or want to tell me what happened to you when you be able to answer this letter, my mind will rest for a while. Please, be safe. I love you so much, please don't forget that, it's important to me..."_

 

Remus smiled.

 _\- I won't forget_ \- said to himself.

 

_"... **Y** our secret admirer _

_**PS:** I miss you" _

 

Remus laughed while crying, his muscles settled down and he stopped shaking. Saw the book on the table. He didn't want to get it in that moment, 'cause he'd felt pain enough to pick up the letter. Madam Pomfrey came in his direction.

_\- You okay, darling? How did you sat alone? You could get hurt even more._

Remus smiled at her.

_\- I'm fine..._

_\- I'm glad you didn't get hurt. You even recovered your color..._

_\- Er... Madam... Who left me this book?_

Madam Pomfrey was great at keeping secrets.

_\- I can't tell you, sorry. The person made me promise that I wouldn't say anything, but I can assure you... It was really worried about you._

Remus smiled again.

_\- All right. I won't insist, but thanks... You might get the book so I can read it, please?_

She smiled at him.

 _\- Of course, my dear_ \- she picked up the book and handed it to Remus _\- Here. Have a good read._

_\- Thank you._


	10. Who are you? Let me know

Madam Pomfrey had given to Remus a parchment and a quill so he could answer the letter. She smiled and left him alone so he could write. He smiled too.

 

_" **D** ear, I-don't-know-who-you-are, _

_Why do you have so many stomach aches? I hope you're feeling better. I regret the fact that you're so close, but so far away at the same time. You came here and didn't awake me or even talked to me. I feel grateful for her not telling you anything and I hope you know that she kept your secret as well as she kept mine. Marion Zimmer Bradley is a respectable muggle. Yes, there are good people in Slytherin. I'm sorry, I can't tell you what happened. That would be the end of me. And I'm not kidding... Something very bad could happen to me if I tell people... I don't know if I love you, but I like you too, this is irrational because I don't know who you are, but I'm not going to lie to myself._

_**R** emus Lupin _

_**PS:** Who are you? Let me know." _

 

Remus folded the parchment and asked Madam Pomfrey to deliver the letter.

\----------------------------------------------

 _\- I told you... He's horrible. He.is.horrible, I got sick of him_ \- said James.

 _\- I've heard, James... He's horrible, I know. I agree, but what can we do? He's going to be horrible for the rest of his life, we can't change him_ \- said Peter.

 _\- Peter's right, Jam... Besides, he's her friend. The only thing I could do, it would alert her that he's as rotten as the rest of my family_ \- said Sirius.

Remus walked into the Great Hall and heard all the talk.

 _\- Who are you talking about?_ \- Asked, but had the feeling it would be best not to have asked, and if... They were talking about him?

 _\- Snivellus, of course..._ \- Replied James.

Remus rolled his eyes and sat down next to Peter.

_\- Why none of you can be rational?_

Sirius, Peter and James looked at him.

 _\- What do you mean by that?_ \- asked James.

Remus rolled his eyes again.

_\- Oh, please... What the boy has done for you? He's not my friend, I don't like him, but I don't need to offend him. Why don't you ignore him? If he's not important to you, ignore him, thats the rule of life._

James took a deep breath.

 _\- Remus... Just stop..._ \- he said.

_\- As you wish..._

Sirius looked at Remus' arm.

 _\- Forget Snivellus. Remus, what happened to your arm?_ \- asked Sirius.

Remus looked at his own arm and untied the knot in his throat with some coffee, then hid his arm with the other hand.

_\- N-nothing... I'm fine..._

_\- What happened?_ \- asked Peter.

_\- It's nothing, as I said! Stop!_

Sirius looked at James and James could read his friend's lips _"He's lying..."_ and James moved his lips _"Yes, I told you..."_


	11. Brilliant at potions

Lily pulled Remus by his arm, the boy didn't understand, but joined Lily at the table. He was terrible in potions, although knew the theory of everything. He didn't have a lot of patience to squeeze things, put things in the cauldron, moving things into the cauldron. In fact, the only cauldron he liked was the Leaky Cauldron, 'cause he doesn't need the Leaky Cauldron to make potions. Slughorn stood up from his chair.

 _\- Please, silence... Today you will learn how to do the Developing Solution..._ \- Said Professor Slughorn _\- I'm sure you've read at least one edition of the Daily Prophet or seen a family photo that... Moves. And that's what we're going to do today, I brought some pictures I took of Hogwarts yesterday morning. We'll not mix the houses, 'cause as I know very well, we'd be in a battlefield. Slytherins with Slytherins and Gryffindors with Gryffindors. Full stop. I don't want any hex, jinx or whatever you're planning, let's avoid that_ \- Professor Slughorn distributed the photos he had taken - _The instructions are in the book. I'm not going to make it easy for anyone..._ \- and he saw Narcissa's hand raised in the air and then Rosier's _\- I'm not going to make it easy for anyone. Put your hands down... In fact, as a Professor, I need to make you think... So... Hm... Think. You have 40 minutes to submit a satisfactory potion._

Sirius laughed and looked at James. James opened the book on the correct page and Sirius started reading the instructions. Narcissa and Rosier started working and Lily and Remus too.

 _\- I'm not going to touch this..._ \- Said Remus - _I read the instructions, separate the ingredients and you put it into the cauldron._

Lily rolled her eyes.

_\- Fine..._

Remus was reading the ingredients and the preparation methods, while Lily was putting together all the ingredients in the cauldron. According to the instructions in the book, the potion would take 15 minutes to get ready, they had already advanced half the potion and they were just waiting for the 15 minutes to finish, began to talk in a low voice so as not to interrupt the other students' progress.

 _\- Lily, I received another letter.._. - Said Remus shyly _\- My secret admirer came to see me in the Hospital Wing when I was sleeping and left me a book to read..._ \- He smiled.

_\- A book? Which book?_

_\- The Mists of Avalon._

_\- Marion Zimmer Bradley, right?_

_\- Y-Yes..._

_\- I saw a smile?_ \- She asked smiling.

 _\- Yes..._ \- he hesitated - _It s-said that... Loves me..._

Lily looked at Sirius, the boy was concentrating on the potion, he put his tongue out showing effort. She laughed.

 _\- I'm sure, it loves you..._ \- She turned her attention to the cauldron that bubbled.

_\- H-how do you know?_

_\- A hunch, just a hunch..._ \- she smiled and raised her hand at the same time that Snape raised his.

 _\- Professor!_ \- Both said in unison.

Slughorn stood up from his chair.

 _\- Are you done?_ \- he looked at his pocket watch - _But you still have 10 minutes..._

 _\- The potion is ready here. What can I do?_ \- asked Snape.

Slughorn went to Snape's table.

 _\- Okay, okay..._ \- He went towards Lily and Remus' table _\- Very... Well..._ \- He said _\- 10 points for Slytherin and 10 points for Gryffindor. Enjoy the time left to put the potions in bottles and wipe the cauldrons._

Sirius looked at James and then to Remus and Lily. He smiled at the boy and the boy smiled back.


	12. Christmas in hell

In the Great Hall, the Christmas candles' fire were shining, the ceiling was charmed, a cold night and the students could see the snow falling over it. Inside the castle was warm, comfortable, Sirius didn't want to leave to get back home. He was planning, mentally, what to say for his parents. He was lost in thoughts, when walked towards the Great Hall.

 _\- Hey, Sirius..._ \- Narcissa said with a fatigued voice.

Sirius looked at her.

_\- Quoi?_

_\- Qu'allez-vous dire à vos parents?_ \- She giggled.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

 _\- Narcissa,_ \- Regulus said _\- Ne le dérangez._

Sirius smiled, his brother wasn't one of them yet.

 _\- Merci, Reg..._ \- he said messing up his brother's hair.

Remus and Alice entered in the Great Hall.

 _\- Hi, Sirius..._ \- Alice said _\- Hi, Regulus..._ \- she looked at Narcissa and then to Remus _\- Come on, I'm hungry..._

 _\- HUH?!_ \- Narcissa said.

 _\- I'll eat too... Tomorrow we'll go together to the train?_ \- Sirius asked Regulus blushed.

_\- I've alredy said to Narcissa that I will with her and... Rosier and Snape._

_\- QUOI? QUOI? FUCKING MERLIN!_ \- Sirius thought for a while _\- Ok... Be safe and... Don't let them corrupt you, they'll try. You promise me?_

_\- S-sirius..._

_\- PROMISE ME!_

_\- Y-yes... I promise you._

Sirius didn't believe in Regulus' promise, he knew that his brother couldn't deal with pression. He kissed Regulus' forehead and then went to Gryffindor table.

 _\- Don't care about my unnecessary cousin. She don't worth so much attetion_ \- said to Alice

 _\- At least she's not like Bellatrix..._ \- Alice replied Sirius looked at the girl.

_\- Please, don't say her name in front of me._

Remus coughed.

_\- Who's she?_

Sirius laughed from Remus' innocence, but who talked first was Alice.

_\- Narcissa's sister._

_\- Sirius' cousin?_

Sirius was bothered with that subject.

_\- Yes, she's my cousin too, let's stop talking about it, ok? Where's James and Peter?_

Remus pointed to the edge of the table, where James was trying to talk with Lily and Peter was trying to take the boy of there.

 _\- I've already tried to help... But... As you can see, I failed..._ \- Remus said.

 _\- And here I go again..._ \- said Sirius pointing his wand to James and making a move in the air.

 _\- HM! HMMMMMMMM!!!_ \- James mumbled, trying to say something.

_\- You'll only say something when I want. Stop annoy the girl._

_\- HMMM!_ \- James frowned and went to Sirius with Peter on his back.

_\- Thank you, Pete._

Lily went towards Remus and Alice and slapped James' face. She could listen an _"ouch!"_ from Sirius, Remus and Peter.

 _\- Hm..._ \- James mumbled running his hand on his face.

 _\- Thank you, Black..._ \- Lily said.

_\- Whatever, I didn't for you, I did for me, 'cause, James, honestly, this is a shame._

Lily giggled and sat down next to Remus, the boy pointed his wand to James and with a move on air unglued James' lips.

 _\- Thank you, Remus..._ \- James said.

_\- Why did you do that? He deserve stay with his lips sealed for the rest of his life!_

Remus looked at her and took a deep breath.

_\- Kindness is a form of intelligence, Lily. How can I know that he don't want to revenge?_

_\- I'll never would want revenge, mainly of Evans and Sirius. Nonsense, Remus!_

Remus giggled.

_\- Ok... It's just that... Being who I am... I have to distrust._

Sirius supported his elbows on the table, approaching Remus. His gaze killing Remus' eyes.

 _\- And who are you?_ \- He asked.

_\- A son of a Ministry's employee that passed through a lot of problems trying to defend the Wizarding world with the most gentle muggle woman in the muggle world._

_\- Your father works on Ministry?_

_\- Y-yes..._

James looked at Remus and took a deep breath.

_\- And he was able to defend the Wizarding world?_

_\- N-no... It w-was out of his reach_ \- Remus began to tremble.

Lily put her arm around Remus' neck.

_\- Stop ask a lot of questions! You don't see that he's not comfortable with this?_

Sirius looked at her and for her arm around Remus' neck. He coughed and took a piece of pie to eat.

\----------------------------------------------

_"Well I'll be damned! Here comes your ghost again, but that's not unusual"_

When he came back to home, he noticed that were a lot of people on the living room. Regulus went to take a bath and change his clothes. Narcissa went to the living room with her mother, but he looked at the stairs. The elves' heads looking at him. He began to hear their voices and put his hands on his ears. _"This isn't real... Isn't real. I'm not hearing... I'm... N-not hearing nothing"_

_\- SIRIUS BLACK!_

Bellatrix's voice echoed in the hall.

 _\- LEAVE ME ALONE, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!_ \- He yelled.

Bellatrix approached, a demonic smile was substituting a normal smile.

 _\- It was so impossible to resist the Sorting Hat?_ \- said in a cold voice, cutting.

Sirius kept his hands on his ears, _"Isn't real..."_

 _\- Stop..._ \- he said sitting on the stairs, feeling cornered.

_\- Why did you asked to that stupid hat to put you on Gryffindor?!_

_\- I-I didn't asked nothing..._

_\- MENTEUR!_ \- and pointing her wand to her cousin, her hand moved on air like a conductor's hand - _CRUCIO!_

And Sirius fell out the stairs. The pain burning his muscles. He could hear the sound of his blood and air fighting to keep him alive and sane. A hundred knives, stabbing his body, but he knew... Wasn't real.

_\- ARRÊTEZ! S'IL VOUS PLAIT!_

_\- NON!_

A noise from the living room forced Bellatrix to point her wand to the other side, but she kept looking at Sirius.

 _\- Bellatrix! What you're doing?_ \- Andromeda asked.  
_\- It's just that I don't... See a good reason to let the boy stuck on a... Cage... On a... Room. It's not enough!_ \- Replied in a cold voice.  
_\- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, BELLA?_

Bellatrix looked at her sister, the same cold and demonic smile that showed to Sirius before and without look at the boy, waved her wand on air again, carefully.

 _\- CRUCIO!_ \- She cackled.

Sirius was crying. He couldn't yell, 'cause his air seemed to lost the battle. Andromeda took Bellatrix's hand.

 _\- I'm older! You need listen to me! YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER! YOU ARE NOT THE AUTHORITY IN THIS HOUSE! So... You'll keep your wand and you'll go back to there, RIGHT NOW!_ \- Andromeda yelled.

_\- ANDY!_

_\- NOW!_

Bellatrix spat on the floor next to Sirius and withdrew. Andromeda crouched to help Sirius. Regulus appeared on the top of the stairs and then down the stairs quickly.

 _\- Sirius..._ \- He crouched and passed his hand through his brother's hair.

Sirius looked at his brother and got up with Andromeda's help.

 _\- You're ok?_ \- the woman asked, but he didn't replied _\- Go take a bath and change your clothes, you'll feel better..._

Sirius went upstairs and Andromeda took Regulus' hand, leading him to the living room. Sirius opened his room door and when he was already there, locked the door with the key. He sat on his bed for a while and then he heard a _'plop'_. On his front was an elf. He had never saw that elf before. Sirius widened his eyes.

 _\- Sirius Black is not feeling very well, isn't it?_  - The elf asked - _Dobby heard Bellatrix voice cursing Sirius Black, but Dobby can't do nothing, Dobby is just an elf..._

_\- W-what are you doing here?_

_\- Dobby came with his masters. Dobby's masters are here because they think that master Lucius can marry with Narcissa Black... Dobby's master want to be fast._

_\- Fucking fuck! Now this..._

_\- Sirius Black hear the elves, Dobby is right? Dobby knows, Dobby hear them too._

_\- QUOI?! You heard too?_

_\- Sirius Black is not crazy. Dobby hear them too, Dobby's ancestors, laughing and yelling._

Sirius felt a little sympathy for the elf.

_\- H-how they treat you, Dobby? Y-you know... The Malfoys?_

_\- Dobby can't complain, Dobby's masters are good to it. Gave to Dobby food and a place to sleep. Dobby can't complain. Dobby needs to go now. It was a pleasure for Dobby talk with Sirius Black._

And with another _'plop'_ the elf disappeared.

\----------------------------------------------

_"But that's not unusual, It's just that the moon is full"_

Remus couldn't complain from passing Christmas at home, he just didn't want to feel so much pain and anger. He thought about his secret admirer, shook his head and was Sirius that came into his mind. He shook his head again. Put a record to play and lay down on the couch.

_"But we both know what memories can bring, they bring diamonds and rust"_

Looked at the window, the sun was up, commanding all the stars, at the moment, he was the boss _. "Not yet, only later..."_


	13. Cokeworth

He wouldn't do what he wanted to do at that moment, he would wait all that bad feelings leave him in peace. His nerves and muscles was still hurting. He was fearing an internal hemorrhage, but it was an irrational thought. He knew it wasn't real knives, it was just his brain trying to understand and explain the pain. He tried to trust in Andromeda, but it was hard. He knew exactly seven good people in the whole world. Where were the others? There weren't others. Someone had knocked on the door and he awoke from his morbid thoughts.

 _\- Alohomora!_ \- he said pointing his wand to the door - _It's open..._

 _\- How did you knew it was me?_ \- Andromeda asked

 _\- I didn't knew..._ \- said looking at the void

_\- Sirius, you have to act like a warrior. You have to face them in the best way you can, defend yourself... You're a great wizard._

Sirius giggled.

 _\- No, I'm not... Remus is..._ \- he said without think

_\- Lupin?_

Sirius looked at his cousin.

_\- Yeah... Do you know him?_

The woman laughed and smiled when she remembered the boy.

 _\- Of course... He is Ted's neighbor_ \- she said whispering for no one to hear _\- A very clever boy, pass his days reading on his house garden and sometimes, when I can go to Ted's house, I can hear the songs that came from his bedroom_ \- she smiled again and Sirius did the same _\- He listens to beautiful songs, Ted listens to the same songs... But he's too shy to go there for a visit. His parents, sometimes, go there to visit. Remus' father is a powerful, powerful wizard and tries to help Ted on the best way he... Hm... When he is available, you know... Great man, Lyall..._

_\- Lyall? Remus' father, right?_

_\- Yeah, really a gentleman... And Remus' mother is a very beautiful woman, very redhead, very muggle, very... Brave._

Sirius was feeling better. Imagine things about Remus' parents, made him feeling closer to the boy and, besides... He was so happy that Andromeda liked Remus and his parents.

 _\- Brave?_ \- he asked

Seemed like Andromeda was swallowing a rock.

_\- Yes... Get married with a wizard so powerful like Lyall Lupin... And be mother of a clever, quick mind wizard like Remus... She needs to be brave._

_\- Ted likes Remus too?_

She smiled.

_\- Yes, he likes... He say that Remus doesn't know how beautiful and powerful he is. He admires Remus._

Sirius looked at her.

_\- I agree..._

Andromeda looked at him and picked up a letter from her cleavage.

_\- He sent me this letter... And I didn't have courage to read it yet._

Sirius understood.

_\- If you want, I can read to you... I'm not fussy..._

Andromeda hesitated, but gave the boy the parchment and the boy read it whispering.

 

_" **D** ear Andy, _

_I miss you... I'm being careful for Bellatrix not divert this letter. I sent a different owl this time... I hope you're fine and Sirius has recovered. I'm not anywhere, I'm here and I'm not waiting any longer for this world to be still. I raise my glass and I remember you. Oh, sweet Andromeda... Merry Christmas. Come as fast as you can..._

_- **TT"**_

 

Sirius gave back the parchment to the woman and she was crying.

_\- Oh, Dromeda, don't cry... Don't..._

_\- He's a wonderful man, isn't it? Worrying about me and about you..._

_\- Yes, he's a wonderful man._

_\- We could go there... What do you think?_

Sirius thought on the possibility... See Remus, even from afar, it was tempting, indecent proposal.

_\- I got nothing to lose... They'll curse me, but it's just another Crucio. It's worth it._

_\- I'll protect you if your Protective spell fail again..._

Sirius looked at her and hesitated for a while.

 _\- Ok... But we're not going to take too long..._ \- he said

_\- Black promise!_

Sirius got up from his bed and dressed a red sweater. His cousin turned the palm of her hand down and Sirius put his hand on it. In a few minutes he felt his body divided into several parts, his vision turned dark and his eyes had been pushed inside his head. He couldn't breath properly, but soon they were on a place that he had never seen before. A street board indicated where they were.

_\- Cokeworth... Remus lives in here?_

Andromeda nodded.

_\- It's a muggle neighborhood... But some wizards and witches live in here as well as the muggle borns and some half-bloods, as is Remus' case._

Sirius looked at the houses, seemed farms. Grass, trees... He could feel the good energy, but then a noise made him wake from his trance. He could hear things normally, had very sensitive ears, but he couldn't identify correctly what was that noise and from where it came. It was like a howl, a hoarse howl, low, sad. He looked at the sky. Full moon. He frowned. When he opened his mouth to ask to Andromeda, a redhead girl passed through his gaze. It was eight o’clock. It was dark, but the moon was lightening. Lily? _"What the fuck?"_. The girl went to a house and pressed a button. Sirius didn't knew what was it, but another noise hit his ears. Then a woman opened the door. His ears working better than his eyes, but he could see a woman, beautiful, redhead. His ears working and working so he could hear what the woman said to Lily: _"No, he's ill... Unfortunately, but tomorrow he'll be better..."_ , Sirius kept looking at her. Remus' mother? Another howl... This time louder.

 _\- Andromeda!_ \- he said

_\- You're ok?_

_\- Yes... It's just that... You are not listening?_

Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

_\- Listening what exactly?_

_\- A howl._

The woman looked at sides.

_\- I'm not hearing anything, Sirius... I'm sorry._

He crossed his arms and looked at Lily, his ears trying to capture, at least, some part of the conversation, _"...It's ok, I just wanted to give him my Christmas gift, but it's ok... Really... I'll go to Spinner's end then. I hope he's better tomorrow... Can you give my gift to him when he get better?"_ , Sirius raised an eyebrow, _"Of course, sweetheart... I'll give to him... Give Severus a hug for me..."_

 _\- Severus?_ \- Sirius asked for himself outraged _\- I wanted to know what's happening in here..._

 _\- It happens a lot of things in here, isn't it?_ \- asked a third voice

Sirius looked at her. Lily.

_\- What you're doing in here, Evans?_

_\- I live in here, Black..._

Andromeda turned her attention to the girl.

_\- How are you, Lily?_

Sirius looked at Andromeda, raised his arms, surrendering.

_\- I'm fine. How about you?_

_\- I'm fine... I came to see Ted and I brought Sirius with me..._

_\- Hm..._ \- said the girl _\- Coincidence..._

 _\- What?_ \- Sirius asked.

But, at that moment, another howl. Sirius felt cold, sadness, he had the feeling that, somehow, the howl he was listening meant something, he just couldn't understand.

_\- In fact, I didn't said nothing... I have to go now... Bye Andromeda, bye Black..._

 

_"Sirius Black... I know everything, I'm within his mind. I-control-his-mind. It's a pity... I can't control your mind too, but..."_

 

Lily wasn't there anymore, it wasn't her voice. He began to tremble.

 

_"I can't control you, Sirius Black... I can't be inside of you, because part of him resists, that part, deep in **MY** mind... But... Only for tonight... It's not my fault, Sirius Black"_

 

 _\- ARRÊTEZ!_ \- He said putting his hands on his head

 _\- Sirius!_ \- Andromeda yelled

_\- I'm... I'm s-sorry... I'm..._

_\- I called your name several times... What's happening? You're ok?_

Sirius didn't want to lie.

_\- There's s-s-someone t-alking to me... But there's no problem if y-you don't believe in me... I... I u-nderstand..._

Andromeda looked at him.

_\- I believe in you, Sirius, but we have to go, remember? Black Promise?_

Sirius nodded, then they went to Ted's house.


	14. Too close

Remus could still the smell of blood on the ground, his bones was hurting, his muscles burning as hell. His Mother opened the door and went to him, took him on her lap and she led him to the bathroom so he could take a shower. She woke earlier to fill the bathtub with warm water and put the healing potion that Dumbledore had gave to her on it, then Remus wouldn't feel pain. He sat on the bathtub with difficulty, but soon he felt comfortable and his body ache was gone. The bones and muscles was still hurting and burning, but the pain on his skin wasn't there anymore. He tried to remember what had happened the night before, he could smell a scent of fear and madness, could smell agony, but he didn't know from who. When he came out the bathtub, his mother dressed him with clean pyjamas, led him to his bedroom, bandaged his arm and when he lay down, she covered him with two blankets.

 _\- Lily came here the night before_ \- she said _\- I told her you was ill. She brought your christmas gift..._

_\- I hate that... She don't need to spend money with me..._

_\- Rem, we already talk about that..._

He tried to smile.

_\- Ok... I want to see, let me see!_

Hope gave it to Remus.

_\- I'll help you..._

She opened the gift and gave it to him.

_\- Brand New World... Aldous Huxley..._

He turned the book to read the synopsis.

 _\- Lily brought this too..._ \- and Hope gave Remus a box.

He put the book on his legs and opened the box. Chocolates. He smiled and looked at his mother.

_\- Do you want one?_

Hope smiled.

 _\- No, dear, thank you... It's you that needs to eat, you'll feel better..._ \- she hesitated _\- Hm... Sweetheart... There's something else, someone brought you a letter... It was on the ground next to the door, wasn't no owl out there, but it's from one of your friends from Hogwarts, I suppose..._

Remus' heart speeded.

_\- A... Letter?_

_\- Yeah, there's no sign of the name on it and the person, whoever it is, asked me for not to read, then I didn't read._

She caught the parchment on her jeans pocket and gave it to Remus.

_\- Thank you, mom..._

_\- Do you want to be alone to read it?_

Remus nodded and she kissed his forehead.

_\- If you need something just call me, right?_

_\- Ok..._

When she withdrew he unfolded the parchment.

 

_" **D** ear Remus, _

_I'm so scared. I wish I could back to Hogwarts right now... Was a hell come back... Home. The elves speaking to me. The screams. My... Family... My head will explode. I apparate in here, don't ask me how and why. Ted is a good man, he gave me a parchment and a quill so I could write to you. I saw Lily, I saw her letting your house and heard things, Remus. I heard a voice, I don't know who was speaking, but it was speaking directly to me and I heard howls. I don't know what's happening, probably it's happening now... Probably I am getting crazy. I miss you as hell. I wanted to hug you, but you would kick me out, someone brought me here to... Doesn't matter, but I came cause someone told me that you live in here, I came in hope to see you, but you're ill, your mother told to Lily and I heard and... And... I'm worried. I want to die, because... My Christmas night started on hell and I came here to see you, even through the window. I don't know how long I can keep this just for me. I wanted to tell you my name, but for now, my name will continue on the stars for you. About one thousand five hundred light years from where we are now. I love you so much, Remus... So much... And even if get crazy, I'll still loving you. I believe there's something happening to you. Something really bad. I want to help you somehow, but I'll have to tell you my name. I'm really a egoist kid, but I love you anyways. Come on, you're smart... You know who I am. I'm too close..._

_**Y** our secret admirer _

_**PS:** Look at the sky when it turn dark" _

 

_\- Look at the sky when it turn dark? What does that means?_

Remus had the feeling that there was a lot of clues in that letter, but he wasn't able to remember even his name. And why his secret admirer was so scared? And why it was on cokeworth? It knew how to apparate? _"Of course not... Someone brought it"_ , and if someone had told it he lived there it was because the person lived there too or visited someone there frequently. His brain was failing, so he kept the letter under his pillow and closed his eyes.


	15. Love potion

The nights were more calm on Hogwarts, but the energy wasn't too good on the dorm. James was silent thinking in something to win Lily. The possibility of the Love potion was tempting, but he knew the potion effects. He had caught one bottle from Slughorn's stock, but he knew that Remus wouldn't approve, then he didn't use. He was an idiot, but he didn't knew how to reverse his condition. Sirius looked at the sky behind the window, his psychological was damaged and he was mumbling some nonsense things in french for no one understand. He regretted having said that it was a bad idea have the memory changed, in fact, he couldn't do nothing about it. The Cruciatus curse canceled the Obliviate and it happened often, they cast an Obliviate and then they cursed him with a Crucio. His brain was frying and he didn't knew how to reverse too. Remus was worried with the next potions class, Professor Slughorn had told him that he needed to pay more attention on the time and on how cut the ingredients correctly. He was worried about his secret admirer, but had the feeling that it was too close. It couldn't be Lily, she was a muggle born and the house elves didn't worked with muggle borns. His secret admirer had seen Lily on Cokeworth, perhaps she knew who it was. He got up from his bed and went to the common room. Peter was confused, that behaviour was uncommon. He didn't used to have control on the things, but had the feeling that he needed do something. Somehow he knew that James had to be the first.

 _\- Hm... James..._ \- he said.

_\- Hm?_

_\- You're ok?_

James nodded.

_\- I'm just... Thinking... I caught a love potion from Slug's stock._

Sirius woke from his trance.

_\- WHAT?_

James smiled. Sirius was back, at least for a moment.

_\- I wanted to give to Evans, but it would be worse, besides... I had to hide. If Remus see... I'll have to go to Dumbledore's office._

Sirius and Peter giggled.

 _\- I want to see..._ \- Sirius said.

James caught the bottle quickly and showed to Sirius and Peter. He opened the bottle. Peter could smell cheese, the best cheese in the whole world and could smell pumpkin. James could smell floral, citrus, cosmetics and parchments.

 _\- Hmmmmm..._ \- He said.

Sirius went silent.

 _\- Oh, this smell... I could have this in all my breakfast_ \- Peter said - _Which do you smell, Sirius?_

Sirius looked at him and got up.

_\- Je ne peux pas te le dire, c'est un secret, je suis désolé._

_\- What?_ \- Peter asked.

_\- I can't tell, sorry._

_\- What do you mean? Why not?_ \- James asked.

Sirius looked at him.

_\- You wouldn't understand._

\----------------------------------------------

Lily was reading a book. Spells. She was with her wand pointed to a parchment and then she cast the spell. Remus was in front of her and observed. The girl, then, pointed her wand again to the parchment.

 _\- Aguamenti!_ \- She said.

Then all the water that came out from her wand hit on the parchment and fell on the ground.

_\- This is brilliant, Lily._

_\- I'm training, cause I need to protect my books. If you want I can teach you after..._

_\- Impervious, right? You don't need to teach me, seriously._

He sat next to her.

_\- You... Argh!_

He giggled.

_\- Hm... Lily, I need to ask you something._

_\- Yeah?_ \- She asked pointing her wand to the ground.

_\- Did y-you met someone on Cokeworth this Christmas?_

The girl looked at him and frowned.

 _\- Yes... But..._ \- She said _\- I... Don't remember who_ \- she thought for a while _\- I... How? H-how could I forget?_

Remus frowned.

_\- Do you f-forgot?_

_\- Yes! How could I forget?_

_\- I received a letter in Christmas... My secret admirer was on Cokeworth..._

_\- WHAT?_

Remus looked at her.

_\- Someone changed your memory, Lily. I don't know who and what for, but someone changed your memory._

Lily looked at him scared.

_\- I... I just remember of went to this person... But its image is blurry and the other person's image too._

_\- Dammit! Of course... Its family is specialist in the memory spell._

_\- Remus... Let me see this letter._

The boy gave to her the letter.

_\- I know there's a lot of clues on this letter, Lily, but my brain don't to see._

The girl began to read.

 _\- Hm... Scared of what? If was a hell for it to come back home it's because it has afraid of its own family. And... We got another clue in here..._ \- She pointed one line - _This clue was on the others letters too... The house elves. The house elves..._

_\- The house elves serve to the pure blood families. My secret admirer is a pure blood?_

_\- It looks like. And it met Ted, but if they changed my memory, they must changed Ted's memory too._

_\- And its apparate on Cokeworth. The other person was older._

_\- It heard howls... Howls?_

Remus blushed.

_\- Wolves perhaps..._

Lily continued reading.

_\- "My name will continue on the stars for you", hm... This reminds me of something, but I don't really know. "One thousand five hundred light years from where we are now". I'm not really good in Astronomy._

_\- Nor me... It's more easy to me conjure food than understand Astronomy..._

Lily laughed, reading.

_\- Look at the sky when it turn dark?_

_\- I didn't understood too. I'm worried, Lily, and if it is really getting crazy?_

_\- We can go to the library tomorrow, find some Astronomy books._

_\- Good idea_ \- he said - _Thank you, Lily, from try to help me, I know there's almost nothing here and I'm sorry that they changed your memory._

_\- There's some things that don't worth to remember, Rem._

He nodded.

_\- I am going to bed. Good night, Lily._

_\- Good night, Rem._

\----------------------------------------------

On the dorm the energy was bad again. James was still holding the bottle and Sirius kept silent, looking at the potion. When Remus entered the dorm, he could smell vegetable amber, vetiver and red alder. Sirius. He smiled.

_\- Sirius, what is the scent you smelling? I'm curious, I'm your best friend, it's not fair._

Remus saw the bottle on James' hand.

 _\- James!_ \- He said.

James, Sirius and Peter turned to him and quickly James tried to hide the bottle.

 _\- H-hi..._ \- He replied.

_\- Where did you get that potion? It wasn't you that made it, right?_

_\- Of course not! But if I had made it? I'm a potions master!_

_\- No, Slughorn is... In fact_ \- Peter said.

_\- Pete!_

Remus rolled his eyes, went to James and showed to him his palm.

_\- You can give me this potion so I can give it back to Slughorn or I can ask to Slughorn come here to take back on his own._

James rolled his eyes.

_\- I didn't anything with this potion!_

_\- Good! And you'll not do..._

James took a deep breath and gave Remus the potion. Remus kept it inside his trunk.

 _\- How can I be sure that you don't will use, Lupin?_ \- James asked.

_\- Because I'm not an idiot. My life is not easy and I don't want to make it worse, ok?_

_\- Remus... He didn't use that potion. And he wouldn't use anyway_ \- Sirius said _\- The bottle is full_ \- He got up and went to Remus.

Sirius' scent was still on the air and Remus looked at him. Sirius was more pale than the usual and he had dark circles.

 _\- S-sirius..._ \- he said.

_\- Yes?_

_\- You're ok?_

_\- Je vais bien... And you? You're ok?_

_\- Yes..._

Remus had the feeling that Sirius was lying, but he wished to hug him.

 _\- You're not ok, Remus..._ \- Sirius said.

_\- Of course not! I was... Nervous... It was just that. I'm sorry, James. I'll trust you and you'll give to Slughorn the potion._

_\- It's alright, Remus... I'm sorry._

Remus caught the potion and gave to James.

_\- And if I you give to Lily, you'll be screwed. I recognize the effects._

_\- He'll not use, Rem_ \- Sirius said.

_\- I believe in you, Sirius. And I'll trust in you, James._

Sirius went back to the window, look at the sky again. Remus went to his bed and closed the curtains. James and Peter did the same. After a while Remus could heard Sirius' voice.

_\- Bonne nuit, Remus._


	16. Just a nightmare

He walked in a muggle street and saw people using masks. At his side, his father, holding his hand. The man's hand was cold and he wasn't using a mask like the other people there. His face was white and cold like the snow. Held his wand in his other hand.

 _"Where... Where am I?"_ he whispered.

It was like a carnival party. A carnival parade. A sad, morbid and unnecessary carnival parade. Floating on air, was Remus.

 _"You need to get out of here, Sirius..."_ Remus told him.

The vision of Remus hanging on air wasn't scary, but it wasn't the easy thing to see.

 _"It will happen often... I don't know, but it knows..."_ Remus said _"Here inside of me, it knows..."_

Then his father tightened his hand with coldness and strength and the man's coldness passed to him. He couldn't reply Remus, but his eyes were in the boy's body. Going up, going up, going up till disappear in the sky.

 _"Sirius!"_ Remus said _"Wake up!"_

He opened his eyes.

 _\- Sirius!_ \- Remus was looking him.

He sat. Was sweating and felt cold. The dorm was freezing. He looked to Remus.

 _\- What happened? You're ok?_ \- he asked.

 _\- I'm fine... You had a nightmare_ \- Remus put his hand on Sirius' forehead _\- You're burning. Sirius... What's happening?_

Sirius didn't knew how to answer.

 _\- No... There's nothing happening, Rem... C'est juste un cauchemar..._ \- he said shivering _\- J'ai froid._

Remus couldn't understand, but he hugged Sirius.

_\- You're burning, Sirius, I need to call McGonagall..._

_\- Non, j'ai juste besoin de toi, Remus..._

_\- Sirius, I'm not understanding what you're saying._

_\- Vous êtes un ange, Rem..._ \- he hugged Remus.

Remus blushed.

_\- Sirius, you need to sleep, you need to rest now. I'll give you a healing potion. I have some... I..._

_\- Non... Not now, I j-ust need... Just need..._ \- and Sirius fell asleep on Remus' lap.

Remus made the boy lie in his bed, then covered his body and put Sirius' hair behind his ear. Sirius was a puzzle to him and probably he was a puzzle to Sirius too, but his condition forced him to be a puzzle, if he could choose, he'll choose not to be himself. He got up from Sirius' bed, took a parchment and a quill, went to his bed. Took his wand.

_\- Lumos!_

Put the parchment on the top of a book and began to write.

 

_" **D** ear pure blood, _

_I'm worry about you. What exactly the elves say to you? What your family done to you? With who you apparate? Do you know Ted? Lily don't remember your face and she don't remember the face of the person who was with you. You changed Lily's memory? What the voice said to you? I'm confused, I'm sorry... You're not getting crazy and now you don't need to miss me, I'm close to you, even if I don't know who you are. I'll never kick you out, this never passed through my head. And I could hug you if I knew who you are. Who told you I live on Cokeworth? You could tell me your name, I need to know who you are and what's happening to you, cause I'm worried. I wanted to understand, completly, the clues you put on your letter, cause I'm not so good in Astronomy. And... And... You're not getting crazy, stop saying that. This let me even more worried. There's nothing wrong with me. I wish you are the person that I'm thinking. But and if it aren't you? I'll to give in my secret? It wouldn't rational._

_**R** emus Lupin _

_**PS:** What have in the night sky?"_

 

He got up from his bed, went to the common room and put the letter under the rug. When he was on the dorm, he looked to Sirius, the boy was shivering and murmuring nonsense things. He went to Sirius and sat on the boy's bed.

 _\- It's ok now..._ \- He ran his fingers in Sirius' face _\- It was just a nightmare._


	17. Orion the hunter

Slughorn gave James a week of detention for have stolen the potion. James didn't blamed Remus for try to do what was right. James had going to Slughorn's office to clean some cauldrons, organize the potions in alphabetical order. James needed note the names of the potions and of the students that had made in a parchment.

_\- All of our actions have consequences, Pete... Take this to your life._

_\- Why are you telling me this?_

_\- Cause James is not here and Sirius is laughing for hours because of James' detention._

_\- Oh, Remus, please... Look at what the old Slug asked for James do. And he'll do it alone_ \- Sirius said laughing.

Remus giggled.

 _\- As he said... He's a potions master. It's in the line of duty..._ \- he replied _\- You're feeling better?_

 _\- Yes, I am. Laughter is the best medicine_ \- he said still laughing.

 _\- Chocolates too_ \- Remus said _\- I have to go. I'll go to the library._

 _\- Again?_ \- Sirius asked.

 _\- Yes. Again. Excuse me..._ \- and he withdrew.

\----------------------------------------------

Lily was already in the library waiting for Remus, talking to Madam Pince. Remus said a _"hello"_  to the woman and went with Lily to the Astronomy session. There was exactly four books on the bookshelf. Remus looked to Lily and the girl raised an eyebrow.

 _\- What?!_ \- She asked _\- Are you kidding me?_

 _\- Let's take the books that left and try to find something..._ \- he sighed and caught two books.

Lily caught the other two and they went to a table. She opened one book and Remus did the same.

 _\- Look for "night sky"_ \- Lily said.

_\- Yes, let's try keywords. Night sky, light years, stars... I dunno..._

They began to read the books and while Lily was reading the index, Remus had already found something. It seemed to have importance, but Remus had the feeling that hadn't any importance at all.

_\- Hm... Lily... This is a poem book?_

_\- Hm?_ \- she said opened the book.

\- _Listen..._  " _Almighty Orion as fierce as a lion, he is of Poseidon’s kin and in fights with animals he always would win, the scorpion was the exception. For its sting is a lethal weapon, the scorpion won when it struck Orion’s foot and in the night sky is where they were put"_... It's a poem.

Lily looked to him.

 _\- Strange..._ \- she looked at the page from the book she was reading _\- And this..._ \- and she began to read - _"There are two different versions of the Orion myth, depending on the identity of his parents. The first of these identifies the sea-god Neptune as Orion's father and the great huntress Queen Euryale of the Amazons as his mother. Orion inherited her talent, and became the greatest hunter in the world. Unfortunately for him, with his immense strength came an immense ego, and he boasted that he could best any animal on earth. In response to his vanity, a single small scorpion stung him and killed him"_  - She looke to Remus _\- There's a lot of things about Orion, but it's nothing that we really need. Wait here, Rem..._ \- She stood up.

Remus continued reading and in a few minutes Lily came back.

_\- Your secret admirer is clever._

_\- What? What do you mean?_

_\- Madam Pince told me that it took all the books to... Read. And it asked her to keep the secret. I asked her who's had took the books, but she didn't want to answer._

_\- Dammit!_

_\- It is clever. It leaves the clues that it can and the other clues it leaves on the letters cause it know that you'll not understand. This clues we're trying to find out for example._

Remus didn't know what to think, but he knew that their search wasn't so unnecessary. Remus closed the books and when Lily closed one of the books she was reading, a note fell on the table.

 _\- Remus, look!_ \- she read the note _\- "You don't need to look in here to find out who I am, Remus... This is just the rest of the history"_

_\- Rest of the history? What?_

_\- Mythology is the rest of the history?_

Remus stood up and went to the bookshelf. He put the books on it.

_\- Come on, Lily... I'm tired._

The girl put the note in one of her pockets and put the books in the bookshelf.


	18. The clue in my face

In the end of DADA class, Lily went to Snape, that was passing through the hall with Regulus. James, Sirius and Peter remained in the classroom cause they decided to prank a Corvinal's student in the middle of the class. Remus left the classroom with Xenophilius. He thought for a while, then looked to the boy.

 _\- What draws your attention in the night sky?_ \- he asked.

The blond boy looked to him.

_\- It's obvious, isn't it?_

_\- Not for me..._

_\- The brightest star, in Canis Major's constellation. And then, the Lepus constellation... And above it... Orion constellation, of course... It's obvious, isn't it?_

_\- Not yet..._

_\- I only regret that Orion's dog is far from him. There's a rabbit between them..._

Remus raised an eyebrow.

_\- Lepus, right?_

_\- Yes... Why are you asking me this?_

_\- Oh, it's nothing... It's just that I'm not good in Astronomy..._

_\- I know the basic, but it isn't my... Specialty. I rather write._

Remus noticed that he wouldn't find help from Xenophilius' brain.

 _\- Hm... It's a pity... But thank you, anyway..._ \- He said _\- I have to go now... Bye, Xeno._

\----------------------------------------------

Remus sat down under a tree, next to the lake to read and when he started to read, he stepped into the book and just looked to other things when he had finished. It was good for him, sometimes, just sit there, read and eat some chocolates. It was the right thing to do before the moon change it phase. He was lost on the book he was reading. Was a short book, then he finished read in some minutes.

 _\- You really don't give a break, do you?_ \- Sirius asked.

 _\- No, he really don't give a break..._ \- Peter nodded.

James caught the golden snitch that flapped its wings, despairing, on air.

 _\- What are you reading?_ \- he asked.

_\- When you guys arrived?_

_\- About ten minutes ago..._ \- Sirius said _\- We called you, but you didn't answer... You're ok?_

 _\- Yes, I'm just..._ \- And opened a chocolate bar - _I'm thinking._

 _\- Thinking about what?_ \- Peter asked.

Remus thought for a while and looked to the other three. He decided to change the approach.

_\- What do you know about Orion?_

Sirius saw that James' lips were moving to speak, then he interrupted.

_\- It's a constellation..._

_\- And your fa..._ \- James said.

Sirius interrupted him again.

_\- A constellation formed for four shining stars._

_\- Sirius!_ \- James said.

Sirius ignored him.

_\- Why are you asking us this?_

Remus bit the chocolate.

 _\- Because..._ \- he said chewing and swallowing the chocolate _\- I'm curious... What is in the night sky?_

 _\- Si..._ \- James said, but then Sirius interrupted him once more.

 _\- Stars..._ \- he said, blushing.

 _\- Well observed..._ \- Remus said ironically and bit another piece of the sweet, he stood up.

 _\- Where are you going?_ \- Sirius asked.

_\- I need to find Lily..._

James coughed.

_\- You... Hm... Could say good things about me for her, eh? You are her friend... Hm..._

_\- I don't need to say nothing to her, James. You need to show her your best and then, perhaps she could treat you well. I really need to go now, I would like to stay, but I have to study... Potions... See you later..._

When Remus was far, walking to the castle, James looked to Sirius.

_\- What are you doing, Black?_

Sirius blushed again.

_\- Quoi?_

_\- Why you interrupted me when I was about to talk about your father and you?_

_\- Because I don't like to talk about it, ok?_

James bit his lip.

_\- Alright, I'm sorry... But I'm not an idiot, so don't treat me like one. I see things, Sirius..._

Sirius looked to his feet, embarrassed.

_\- I'm sorry..._

_\- It's ok, we'll talk about it later..._


	19. Kreacher hears, Kreacher knows

The students were in the common room, but Remus wasn't. Lily was reading while Alice was doing her nails. In the sky, the full moon, was shining, its light forming small rainbows when collided on the window glass. Lily frowned. _"Where's_ _Remus?_ ", she looked through the window and a thought passed through her mind, _"No... No way, it's irrational"_. She looked through the window for about ten minutes without realizing how long she needed to digest her idea. She knew Remus about three years. He had moved with his family to Cokeworth, but when they were questioned about the reasons that made they move, they replied saying that the life on their old neighborhood was expensive. Lily knew that Remus' family was poor, so, this could be true. _"No... For the Merlin's beard, no..."_ her gaze on the moon _"But if..."_

 _\- No..._ \- she said.  
_\- What did you said?_ \- Alice asked.

Lily's eyes still looking to the moon.

_\- N-nothing._

\----------------------------------------------

James had asked to Peter to get coffee, so the boy went to the kitchen, order coffee to the elves. James looked to Sirius, that was sat in a armchair next to fireplace. Sirius really didn't like to talk about his family, but James knew that that hole was deepest. He adjusted his glasses and crossed his arms. Sirius didn't want to talk.

\----------------------------------------------

Peter was in the kitchen when one of the elves looked at him.

 _\- I've seen things, Peter Pettigrew..._ \- the elf told him.

Peter looked to it, confused.

 _\- T-things?_  
_\- Yes. Kreacher hears, Kreacher knows._  
_\- K-kreacher? I-I'm sorry, b-but... What are you talking about?_  
_\- Kreacher,_ \- and the elf put its hand on its chest - _Peter Pettigrew_ \- and with the hand that was on its chest, pointed its finger to Peter.

Peter wanted to run. James had only asked to him get the coffee with the elves, not for talking about strange things with them.

 _\- What did you heard, Kreacher?_  
_\- The wolf... Fenrir Greyback. Kreacher hears, Kreacher knows, Peter Pettigrew._  
_\- Where did you came from?_ \- Peter asked.  
_\- Kreacher came from its masters' house... To watch its masters, Sirius and Regulus Black, then Kreacher stays in Hogwarts' kitchen, but... Kreacher hears, Kreacher knows._

And the elf's voice, this time, was cold, rough. Peter felt shivers all over his body.

_\- I-I need to get the... Hm... The coffee._

Kreacher smiled to Peter.

_\- Kreacher do it for Peter Pettigrew... Kreacher will be kind with who Kreacher **needs** to be kind._

Peter didn't understand the meaning of that phrase.

 _\- N-no... Thanks, K-kreacher... I get it, there's no problem..._  
_\- It's ok, Peter Pettigrew..._

Peter was shivering and making noises like a rat.

\----------------------------------------------

James was still looking to Sirius, waiting for the boy say something. He was concentrated on Sirius, with his arms crossed.

 _\- Hm... Excuse me, Potter, Black..._ \- Lily said with a low voice.

James looked to her, Sirius did the same.

 _\- Evans!_ \- James said _\- What a nice surprise! How can I help you?_ \- he blinked.

Lily was uncomfortable with that situation, but she really needed their help.

_\- Hm... Er... Did you saw Remus?_

Sirius blushed, looked to the sides, Remus wasn't there.

 _\- N-no..._ \- Sirius got up from the armchair _\- Where is he? He should be here already. You! Evans... He said he would study with you. Potions._

Lily was confused.

 _\- In fact no... I was studying with Regulus and Severus..._  
_\- And now this..._ \- James said to Sirius.  
_\- It doesn't matter, Jam... I'm confused_ \- Sirius said _\- Why he said that he would study with you then?_  
_\- I don't know, but..._

Lily looked to Sirius and the boy looked to her as if he asked for help.

_\- But?_

Lily didn't know how to answer, she analyzed Sirius' face. Why he was so concerned? James didn't seemed so concerned, but in his mind, he wasn't the _"sympathetic kind"_. Perhaps, Sirius was more human.

\----------------------------------------------

Peter was petrified, he was divided between run and keep his gaze on the elf.

 _\- Kreacher knows, Kreacher hears some conversations... Bellatrix Black's voice saying to Kreacher's masters about the wolf..._  
_\- G-greyback... Is a... wolf?_  
_\- Almost..._

Peter started to sweating cold.

 _\- A-almost?_  
_\- Almost..._ \- Kreacher smiled _\- Werewolf._

Peter caught the coffee quickly, covered himself with James' invisibility cloak and went to Gryffindor's common room, the coffee pot shaking on his shakily hand.

 _"Peter Pettigrew didn't saw Kreacher... Didn't know about Kreacher' existence"_ said the elf's voice in his mind.

\----------------------------------------------

Lily looked to James and then to Sirius again. Put one of her hands on her pocket, her fingers pressing the note on it.

 _\- Hm... You know... You're boys, you must know..._  
_\- Know what?_ \- Sirius asked impatient.  
_\- When a girl is in love with a boy? You know the signs for sure..._  
_\- Of course I know..._ \- James said _\- Like, for example, when the girl punch the boy and stuff..._

Sirius rolled his eyes.

 _\- Shut up, Potter!_ \- she said _\- I'm serious._  
_\- Why are you asking us this when Remus isn't here. You're his friend, Merlin!_  
_\- Oh, this would be a sign?_

Sirius looked to her confused.

 _\- What?_  
_\- Concern is a sign?_

Sirius looked to the sides, blushing.

_\- Yes... I guess..._

Lily took the note.

 _\- Something funny happed to Remus and me this morning... Hm... We were in the library, studying... Astronomy_ \- and then she looked to Sirius again, analyzing his face _\- but... had just four books on the bookshelf... You don't think it's funny, Black?_  
_\- Four books on the bookshelf? No, I don't think it's funny..._  
_\- Alright... If it's not enough to make you laugh... You would think funny if you found a note inside the book? A note for you?_  
_\- Ne faites pas ça..._  
_\- What? You think it's funny now?_  
_\- Tais-toi! Taisez-vous. Ça suffit..._  - he said and went to the dormitory.

\----------------------------------------------

Peter was stood next to the portrait hole. He looked to the common room and could breath. He went to James.

 _\- Pete! What happened?_  
_\- N-nothing..._  
_\- Pete..._  
_\- Wo-w-wolf..._  
_\- What?_  
_\- Wolf!_

Lily raised an eyebrow. That thought... _Again_ , filling her mind.

 _\- Pettigrew... What are you talking about?_  
_\- The e-elf..._  
_\- Elf?_ \- She frowned.  
_\- Y-yes..._

Lily and James looked at each other, both frowned.

 _\- Pete, sit down... Calm down, breathe. What's happening?_  
_\- I-I... don't want to talk about it..._

James looked to Lily waiting to her to say something clever that could help.

_\- You know what? You are all weirdos..._

She went to Alice, but that thought remained. She sat, she didn't needed to worry with Remus' absence. _"His mother is ill again... That's all"_

\----------------------------------------------

Remus skin was burning, he was shivering. He used to live in the limit, but the night before it was worse, was harder than usual. For some reason, that he didn't know, he was more agressive than usual. He couldn't stop crying, perhaps was that sixth sense, vestige of his miserable condition.

_"Kreacher hears, Kreacher knows..."_

Kreacher? Remus didn't knew who it was and he was unable even to remember his own name.

_"It was it said... I'm sorry, I can't avoid... Oh, you're so hurt, dear... Poor little wolf..."_

_\- Stop!_ \- he said feeling cornered.

_"I can't avoid, I told you... Kreacher, whoever it is, knows about Greyback..."_

_\- STOP! I SAID STOP! YOUR TURN IS OVER, NOW THE TURN IS MINE! SO STOP AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!_

_"As you wish..."_

And it was like a cold wind, passing through Remus' chest and head. Madam Pomfrey found him crying hopelessly, fallen on the ground, with his hands in his head, his fingers pulling his hair. Quickly she went to him, covered his thin body and took him on her lap to the hospital wing.


	20. The shining star

When James woke he looked to his roommates' beds. All the curtains opened, no one in the dorm. He sat on his bed and messed up his hair. It was a pity that no one could see how his hair was marvelous that morning. He was worried with his friends, if it Remus considered him as his friend. He wanted, not only because of Lily, but he thought that Remus really was a cool, loyal and clever boy, even though he was a disaster in Potions and Astronomy. He got up, would have two Transfiguration shifts, one Spells shift and one Herbology shift. He dressed his uniform, put on an All Star pair, caught his bag and went downstairs to the common room. Peter and Sirius were already there. The first boy was sat on the sofa, with his bag on his feet and a Transfiguration book between his hands, looking to the carpet. The second boy was stood, with his arms crossed, was dressed in his uniform and his bag hanging on his shoulder, looking to Peter's bag on his feet.

_\- What you are doing?_

Sirius looked to him

_\- Remus didn't come yet..._

The boy had dark circles and was pale.

_\- You didn't slept?_

_\- As if I could... Remus didn't come yet, you didn't listened?_

James scratched his head, he wasn't used with that situation. He hadn't talked with Sirius about he wanted to talk, he wasn't so sure if his friend would really like to talk about it and nor if he was prepared to hear what Sirius would say.

_\- And how about you, Pete? You didn't slept?_

Peter was yellow.

 _\- I'll never come back to that kitchen... That's all_ \- Peter said.

 _\- Neither to eat the rest of the cakes?_ \- Sirius asked raising an eyebrow.

_\- I'll ask to Remus take a piece for me... You're not going to do this anyway._

_\- If you explain us your reasons..._ \- James said.

_\- I don't want to talk about it... And I think I can't... I believe that some elf had changed my memory. I didn't even know that they could do this..._

Sirius turned even more pale. Kreacher knew how to do that. The elf was trained for his mother, Walburga, to change his memory, but it couldn't be Kreacher. What he would do in Hogwarts? The elf rather die than stay away from its master.

_\- Some of them can..._

_\- Jostein cannot..._ \- James said.

_\- I said some of them, Jam... Jostein is as cool as you._

_\- I always thought that it would be cool with a muggle jacket, but if I give one for it, my mother will behead me... You know... My mother is a independent witch, but she likes to have some help._

_\- If I give a muggle jacket to my family's elf, my mother would behead it and behead me._

James giggled.

_\- Come on, we're late... McGonagall will not find it funny._

_\- But... And Remus?_

_\- I don't know... Maybe he is already there, you know how he is..._

Sirius crossed his arms again and they went to McGonagall's class.

\----------------------------------------------

Remus wasn't in McGonagall's class, Sirius looked to Lily's table and the girl was sat on her own. McGonagall was sat on her chair waiting the other students. Sirius raised his hand.

_\- Yes, Mr. Black?_

Sirius blushed.

_\- Hm... Where's... Er... You know... Where's Remus? He normally is here when everybody arrives._

Lily looked to Sirius and frowned.

_\- Just let you know that his mother is ill, Mr. Black._

_\- Again?_

Lily observed them, with a knot in her throat.

_\- This is not a matter to talk in class and even if it was, I couldn't talk with you about it, Mr. Black._

_\- But why not?_ \- He asked.

Lily opened her mouth and raised her hand.

_\- Yes, Miss Evans?_

_\- But Black is just worried..._ \- and saying that she looked to Sirius.

_\- I could perfectly understand, but I really can't talk about it with you, this is between Remus and his mother, it's not a matter that involved you or Mr. Black... Now if you could take your wands..._

Sirius took his wand annoyed.

\----------------------------------------------

On the end of the second Transfiguration shift, Sirius decided to stay for a while to talk to McGonagall, but the Professor didn't gave in. He came back to his table, feeling bothered. Kept his things in his bag and went off the class. On the outside, Lily was waiting for him with her arms crossed.

_\- Hm... Sirius..._

_\- Sirius? Why are you calling me Sirius? I'm not "Black" for you?_

_\- Y-yes... It's just... I need to ask you something._

Sirius rolled his eyes.

_\- What is it?_

_\- Do you like Remus?_

Sirius blushed. His face burning like the deepest hell.

_\- As a friend, yes. Why are you asking me this?_

_\- Because you're so worried... More worried than me._

_\- Maybe, Evans, you're not a good friend for him then._

Lily opened her mouth.

_\- Oi! But of course I am... I'm serious... And it was not just this. You're an Astronomy master. It's the only matter I see you read about it._

_\- Regulus and Narcissa are good in Astronomy too. Anyone could take those books from the library, if that is what you want to know._

_\- It's not only the books, Sirius..._

_\- So?_

_\- What's your father's name, Sirius?_

_\- It's not of your business, isn't it?_

_\- Orion._

_\- Tais-toi, Evans._

_\- What's in the night sky, Sirius?_

_\- Ça suffit!_

_\- A rebel puppet that speaks in another language. A language they don't understand._

" _And I'm a rebel puppet. They move their mouths slightly trying to control what I say, but I speak in another language. A language they don't understand, as I said, a rebel puppet"_

_\- Stop!_

_\- Sirius, the shining star._

Sirius took his wand and pointed to Lily.

 _\- Obliviate..._ \- Said whispering and after, taking advantage of the girl's confusion, he left, crying.


	21. Werewolf, human form

In the end of the holidays, Sirius' mother didn't allow him to go to the Potters, so he stayed in Grimmauld Place. Regulus and him were playing wizard's chess, while Kreacher was preparing the dinner and their mother was giving orders to the elf. When the dinner was almost done, Walburga went to call her sons. Sirius found very strange, but got up and went to kitchen, sat on his chair and Regulus sat on his side. Someone knocked the door and Kreacher withdrew to open it.

 _\- How are you?_ \- Walburga asked _\- How are going the classes? Are you enjoying it?_

Sirius frowned.

 _\- Yes, I am, mother!_ \- Regulus said cheerfully.

_\- Great! How about you, Sirius? Are you enjoying the classes?_

Sirius looked to Regulus and the boy didn't seemed surprised, in fact he was hopeful.

_\- Y-yes, I am... M-mother..._

Andromeda came to the kitchen, kissed her aunt's hand, on a respect sign, then kissed her cousins' forehead.

_\- Sit down, Andromeda... This is great, Sirius! I hope you're learning everything._

_\- Hm... Aunt, I'm sorry to interrupt, but my parents asked to warn you that they will be here soon._

_\- Thank you, Andromeda... I can't wait to see them, after all... We'll have someone special in here tonight, as you can see..._

Andromeda, Sirius and Regulus looked at the table and at the dish it was next to Sirius.

 _\- Lucius Malfoy?_ \- Sirius asked.

_\- Non, mon enfant..._

_\- "Mon enfant"?_ \- Sirius asked unable to control himself.

_\- Oui, je suis ta mère, alors tu es mon fils, mon enfant._

Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

_\- I'm sorry, mother._

The smell that came from the kitchen was awful, Sirius didn't knew what it was, but was scared. His mother treating him well, the blood smell coming from the kitchen.

_\- Kreacher! be careful with the meat!_

Andromeda looked to her aunt, stunned and then to Sirius. She could read his mind through his face. Someone knocked the door again.

_\- Kreacher will be careful with the meat, master, but Kreacher can't let the guests waiting outside._

_\- Go!_ \- She ordered and then looked to Andromeda _\- Must be your parents, your sisters and our distinguished guest._

Sirius felt a chill on his spine. Andromeda felt the same, Walburga's gaze wasn't kind and lovely, was cold. Andromedas' parents came to the kitchen, Narcissa hid herself behind her mother. Bellatrix came after them, laughing. On her side, a man, Sirius looked to him. Didn't seemed a man, his face covered with scars and burns, in the size of a Sickle. The man was tall, strong and his teeth weren't like a normal person's teeth, were sharp like knives. _"What is him? What he's doing in here?"_ , Narcissa kissed her aunt's hand and sat next to Regulus, silent, looking at the man next to her sister. Bellatrix kissed Walburga's hand and sat next to her father. That Bellatrix was insane, Sirius knew, but what was happening there? It was nonsense.

 _\- Sirius, Regulus, Andromeda, I want to introduce you to my friend_ \- she said smirking _\- Fenrir Greyback._

The man was unable to speak, just smiled, showing his sharped teeth to Sirius. Sirius didn't need to ask what that man was doing there, after all, Bellatrix saw no reason to put him locked into his room or stuck him in a cage, it wasn't enough.

 _\- The dinner is almost done_ \- Walburga said _\- I hope you like the meat._

The man smirked to Walburga and didn't say nothing.

 _\- So... Sirius, you don't will say hi to the guest?_ \- Bellatrix asked.

_\- Hi._

_\- Hi..._ \- Greyback's voice was rough, cold.

 _\- Are you learning Protection Spells, mon enfant?_ \- Walburga asked to him.

Andromeda looked at him.

 _\- Yes, madam_ \- He said still looking at Greyback.

_\- Aunt, Greyback will enlist..._

_\- This is marvelous... It would be marvelous if Sirius enlist too._

Sirius knew what she was talking about. His heart speeded just to think in Voldemort.

 _\- The dinner will be served_ \- and saying that Kreacher came from the kitchen with a tray in its both hands, put one of trays in front of Greyback.

When Greyback opened the tray, the smell of blood spread in the dining room, filling every centimeter of the place. Narcissa looked to her hair, blond as the sun. The smell was in the strands. She wanted to throw up. Sirius looked to the tray. Wasn't a underdone meat, Kreacher not even bother to put it in the pan. Was uncooked. He looked to Andromeda. The woman looked to Greyback with disgust, but Bellatrix laughed, then Kreacher served the others. Sirius couldn't looked to his own dish, couldn't smell his food, just the blood.

 _\- Bon appétit!_ \- Andromeda said.

Narcissa didn't knew to what extent that dinner would get, if would throw up, it was better fill her stomach. Began to eat slowly, then Bellatrix and after the rest of the family. That dinner was being a nightmare, but Sirius knew why. He couldn't eat. Andromeda ate a bit and the she quit. Greyback had the blood on his hands and was not bothered to not clean his mouth. The blood running on his burned face.

\----------------------------------------------

When the dinner was over, Regulus was in Sirius' room, crying. Andromeda was trying to calm him down and Sirius was in the bathroom, throwing up. Whe he came out, went to Regulus and Andromeda.

_\- If they want to fuck me up, why it have to be in front of Reg?_

_\- Sirius, watch your mouth..._ \- she said.

_\- No! I know what is he... Bellatrix brought him here to scare me, isn't it? SO IT'S GOOD TO LET REGULUS OUT OF THIS SHIT._

_\- Sirius, calm down..._

_\- AS IF I COULD! Bellatrix is trying to warn me, eh? Because if this is the reason, the coward is her. The cowards sent warnings, the braves do what they need to do._

_\- Sirius..._

Sirius started to cry.

_\- What I have done to them? The fucking sorting hat put me on Gryffindor because he wanted!_

_\- No, Sirius... The sorting hat put you on Gryffindor because you're not like them._

_\- Neither you... Why it put you in Slytherin then?_

_\- Cause the defects of ones is the quality of others._

Sirius hadn't arguments.

\----------------------------------------------

Hope served the dinner. Remus looked at her.

_\- Thanks, mom..._

After years, the woman was used with his son's diet. Dumbledore's recommendations. Porcelain dish, underdone meat, cut in cubes to make the digestion easy, even if Remus' metabolism being quick.

 _\- It's good?_ \- She smiled.

Remus nodded.

_\- Yes, but I miss the..._

_\- No... Dumbledore's orders._

_\- But..._

_\- No, Rem._

Remus nodded again and ate quickly.

_\- It was delicious, mommy. Thank you. I'll clean the dishes after you eat._


	22. The wolf

Sirius never was so happy to get back to Hogwarts, but Greyback's image didn''t came out from his mind, the blood smell didn't came out from his nose. Remus entered in the wagon in where Sirius was and sat.

 _\- Sirius?_ \- Sirius didn't answered, was looking through the window _\- Sirius?_

_\- Hm?_

_\- You're ok?_

Sirius looked to Remus.

_\- Je suis très bien... And how about you, you're ok?_

_\- Yes..._

James and Peter entered the wagon. James hid his nose and Peter was laughing.

 _\- What happened?_ \- Remus asked.

 _\- Nothing, just one more attempt to talk to Evans_ \- Peter said laughing and sat next to Remus.

Remus looked to James.

_\- What did you said to her?_

_\- I said that... Snivellus's nose was bigger than Hogwarts Express..._

Sirius started to laugh on and on. Remus turned serious.

_\- James, what's your problem?_

_\- Snivellus is my problem._

Remus sighned.

_\- Let me see..._

_\- No!_

_\- I need to see so I can reverse..._

James showed his nose. Remus started to laugh. Sirius looked at him and smiled.

_\- You! Stop laughing, it's not funny, ok?_

Remus pointed his wand to James and reversed the hex.

_\- New again..._

_\- Thanks... Why you don't are with her?_

_\- Cause she was talking about things that I don't like..._

_\- Like what?_ \- Sirius asked.

_\- Like Wizard bands and stuff...._

_\- Cause you rather listen to muggle bands..._ \- Sirius said automatically.

Remus looked at him and smiled.

_\- Yes..._

Sirius felt an urge to run from his house, buy a tent and live in Remus' garden forever.

_\- Wich bands?_

_\- The Delfonics maybe... A girl called Tammi Tarrell... She died. Died young._

Sirius didn't wanted to talk about that anymore. He looked through the window again, his mind burning and frying.

\----------------------------------------------

On the sorting ceremony, Sirius was unable to eat. Was pale and thin. He wanted to disappear. He was in love, but he couldn't tell to no one. Had afraid of people reaction. He hated himself, he felt sick, selfish and maybe he was. He wanted to change, but didn't knew from where to begin. He thought about his parents saying to him that he wasn't enough for no one and maybe he wasn't, but what he could do? Was lost on thoughts for long minutes.

_\- Sirius..._

And Remus' voice made him forget his problems for a while.

_\- Oui?_

_\- Y-you are not eating anything..._

Sirius smiled.

_\- I'm not hungry... I think I'm going to sleep._

Remus got up.

_\- Sleep?_

_\- Yes, you don't need to worry, I'm fine, really... I swear..._

Remus sat again. Sirius got up and went to the dorm.

\----------------------------------------------

When the ceremony was over, Remus went upstairs with James and Peter. Sirius wasn't sleeping. Was sat next to the window looking the night sky.

_\- You're alright, mate?_ \- James asked.

_\- Yes._

Remus didn't believe it, but went to his bed. On his pillow, waiting for him, was a parchment. He looked to the other three and unfolded the parchment. Sat on his bed and began to read.

_"Dear Remus,_

_My blood it's not so relevant, unfortunately it wasn't what my family thinks. The elves say a lot of things at the same time, so sometimes, I can't understand. On this vacation my cousin brought a man to my house... But he wasn't the gentle kind. A man called Greyback. Fenrir Greyback..."_

Remus' heart speeded, his breath failed. He looked at Sirius, James and Peter and tried to control himself, tried to control what he had within. It was hard, since he had nine days till the full moon.

_"Don't worry, finish reading the letter, little wolf..."_

_\- SHUT UP!_ \- he yelled without being able to control himself.

 _\- What did you said?_ \- Peter asked.

Remus blushed.

_\- N-nothing... I'm... Hm... I'm sorry..._

James approached.

_\- You've got a letter!_

_"Tell him to move away!"_

_\- James, please... Move away..._

_\- What's wrong?_

_\- Move away..._

_"I can't promise you nothing... Tell him to move away... NOW!"_

Remus put his hands on his head, holding the parchment.

_\- Please, stop... P-please..._

_"Push him, kick him, kill him!"_

_\- H-he's my friend... Stop..._ \- He said tired.

_"Are you sure?"_

Remus started to cry.

 _\- With who you're talking, Remus?_ \- James asked _\- What's wrong?_

_\- MOVE AWAY, JAMES!_

Sirius got up and went to Remus.

_"If Potter needs to move away, why Black have to stay? KEEP THEM AWAY!"_

_\- Sirius... P-please stay away..._ \- Remus said.

Sirius touched Remus' shoulder.

_"I'm sorry, little wolf..."_

Then, everything turned dark and Remus felt like he had been pushed deep inside his own head. He hadn't voice to protest at the moment. He couldn't do nothing. Was the end, the end of line. Remus' physical body was tough as a stone and his head was turning automatically. Sirius could see Remus' eyes, grey, almost white or blue, he doesn't knew. Remus' pupils were dilated.

 _\- WHAT THE HELL?!_ \- Peter asked.

Sirius didn't knew what to say. Didn't knew what was happening.

_\- R-Remus?_

_\- Not Remus here... He is rest-ing in he-re..._ \- And saying that he started to hit his finger tip on his head.

 _\- But what the..._ \- James said _\- NONSENSE!_

_\- Remus asked to you to move away, but no..._

_\- Y-you're Remus..._ \- Sirius said.

_\- REMUS IS NOT ON THE SURFACE NOW! You must to remem-ber, Bla-ck... What's on the surface doesn't scare as much as what is buried inside of people... The wolf is here._

Sirius blushed.

_\- S-stop..._

_\- And why I should?_ \- he smirked _\- I've got no limits, eh?_

_\- Please, Remus..._

_\- You are deaf, Black? Remus is not here. He knows about Greyback and me too._

Sirius' spine froze.

 _\- Greyback?_ \- Peter asked, he knew that name, but he didn't remember from where _\- What he is talking about, Sirius?_

_\- I-I don't know..._

_\- YOU KNOW! YES, YOU KNOW. BLOODY HELL YOU KNOW! And Kreacher knows it too - it said whispering_

Sirius was sure that it was not Remus there. How could he know about Kreacher?

_\- This is a secret. Stop..._

_\- It's a secret that you told to Remus, right? Oh, the world... The world is so, so tiny, Ssssirius... Black_ \- He smirked again, looking at Sirius.

 _\- Sirius..._ \- James called him.

 _\- I'm tired of you! Your mind is so slow, Potter!_ \- It got up from Remus' bed, held Sirius by the collar, with all its strenght and pushed him to the wall next to the window, touched Sirius' face with its own face _\- I know about your secret... I'm not an idiot, so don't act like if I was._

Sirius felt uncomfortable, but he knew what it was talking about.

_\- All right... You know my secret, but what are you? I need to know where my secret is..._

_\- In my paws..._ \- It said looking at Sirius' grey eyes, its eyes also grey, almost white, shining, cold _\- So I think it's fair you know his secret too..._

_\- I know what you are and I'm not scared._

_-  Oh, it looks like that old fucking hat chose it right._

_\- I guess so..._

_\- Remus, let him go!_ \- James said.

_\- I-SAID-TO-YOU!-BOTH-OF-YOU-TO-MOVE-AWAY! MY CONVERSATION IS WITH SIRIUS BLACK AND SIRIUS BLACK ONLY!_

Sirius looked at him.

_\- If you are really what... Hm... What I think you are... Why didn't you attacked them?_

_\- Because Remus protest everything that I do wrong. It's a pity, isn't it?_

Sirius remembered the night on Cokeworth, the howls, the voice. It was the same voice talking to him in that moment.

 _\- R-Remus..._ \- Peter said _\- I'm scared..._

It went towards Peter. Held the boy by the shoulders and put him out the dorm.

_\- OUT!_

Peter withdrew and James withdrew with him.

_\- I hope you understand that it's hard for Pete not call you Remus and I hope you understand that you are hurting his body out of the time. Go away, leave him alone._

_\- I'm anxious and hungry, nine days..._ \- He said smiling _\- How Greyback was? Hm? Hungry too, I'm sure..._ \- He touched Sirius' nose with its _\- Don't worry, I can't do any harm to you..._

_\- Stop... Give him back to me. It's not your turn yet._

Remus' physical body relaxed and he put his hands on his head. Was crying, but was back. He looked at Sirius.

_\- What happened?_

Sirius was unable to tell the thuth.

 _\- Nothing... You're ok?_ \- He asked and Remus shook his head _\- But you will be ok... It was just... Just a nightmare..._ \- Remus didn't answer, only hugged Sirius, hid his face on the boy's chest _\- It's ok... It's gone_ \- Sirius raised his hand to Remus' hair and caressed it, hugging him with his free arm.

James entered the dorm. Looked at his friends, tried to approach, but Sirius put his finger on his mouth, then moved his lips and James could read it _"Don't say nothing about what happened... He'll be ok... He's back"_. James nodded and withdrew.


	23. Bellatrix, the Boggart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for disappear. I had some problems on my job and some problems in my head, but I hope you like anyways. ♡

On that night, Sirius couldn't sleep. When Remus finally fell asleep, he got up from the boy's bed and went to the common room. James was there, sat, next to the fireplace. Sirius went to him.

_\- He fell asleep..._

James scratched his head.

_\- When I told you that we didn't knew him, I was bloody right._

_\- Yes, but... He needs us, James..._

_\- I don't know, I'm confused... I'm fucking confused, mate..._

Sirius sighed.

_\- His mother wasn't ill... He was. James, think... Put yourself on his place._

_\- I'm little uncomfortable with this situation, Sirius..._

_\- Oh! And I'm super-comfortable, eh? You know what I'm... You what I feel for him... I'm more worried with him than with me... James we need to help him._

_\- Yeah? And how we'll do it? I don't want to transform in a werewolf just to help him, Sirius... How you can help a werewolf? There's no potions, there's nothing._

_\- If I need I'll turn into a werewolf._

_\- Bullshit, Sirius! It's dangerous and sad, you can see how this affect him... Plus he would never agree._

Sirius was thinking about the possibilities, perhaps turn into an animal like Professor McGonagall, but how would they'll do that? McGonagall wouldn't help them, she probably would give them a big detention just for talk about it.

\----------------------------------------------

On the DADA class, the students met a new Professor. She was tall, beautiful, her name was Karen. She was patient, careful and very, very powerful.

_\- She really knows how to impose..._ \- Remus said to Sirius - _I want to be like her when I grow up._

Sirius giggled.

_\- Keep studying like you always study and you'll be better than her..._

Professor Karen coughed.

 _\- You! Hm... Pay attention on me_ \- She was looking at Xenophilius that was distracted with a butterfly on the window _\- Mr. Lovegood, attention-on-me_ \- she smiled.

_\- I'm sorry, Professor..._

_\- It's ok_  - she said fixing her hat that was falling from her head _\- Today you'll learn the Boggart-Banishing Spell, but first... Who can tell us what is a boggart?_ \- Lily, Xenophilius and Remus raised their hands _\- Very well, very well... Hm, sorry boys, girls first._

 _\- Thank you, Professor_ \- Lily said _\- A Boggart is a creature that lives inside wardrobes, drawers, any dark place where no one can see it and... A Boggart can transform in what the person fears most._

 _\- Ten points for Gryffindor. Someone wants to tell us the Boggart-Banishing Spell's name?_ \- Lily, Xenophilius and Remus raised their hands again _\- Hm, I'm sorry Ms. Evans... Mr. Lupin, please._

 _\- Yes, Professor..._ \- Remus said shyly _\- Riddikulus._

_\- 5 points for Gryffindor. Mr. Lovegood, do you want add something?_

_\- Yes, Professor... This spell is used to force the Boggart to transform in something funny and this help the person... From madness and... Sadness and..._

_\- Yes, Mr. Lovegood, thank you. 5 points for Ravenclaw... I'll open that wardrobe and free the Boggart, when it happen you'll be free to take a step foward._

Professor Karen went to the wardrobe and opened it. Nobody could see it, but when James pushed Remus, the Boggart began to take form. A spherical, silver form, a full moon. Around the moon, clouds and stars. Remus looked to the moon and said the spell quickly, in hope that no one had seen. The moon turn into a red balloon, floating on the air. He went back to the other students, crossed his arms and bowed his head. James took a step foward, held the balloon rope and the Boggart turned against him, taking the complex and duplicated form of James. His hair, cutted. His face, burned.

 _\- Riddikulus!_ \- He yelled and his duplicated form turned into a gondolier, paddling on the ground, searching for the water.

Lily took a step forward, she was apprehensive. The gondolier turned into a blonde girl, dressed in a flower dress. The girl went to Lily.

_\- YOU FREAK! WEIRDO!_

_\- Riddikulus!_ \- She said _\- Sorry..._

James looked at her. He was worried, but prefered don't say nothing. Peter hid behind Sirius, forcing him to take a step foward.

_"Sirius, you have to act like a warrior. You have to face them in the best way you can, defend yourself... You're a great wizard"_

_\- Je ferai de mon mieux..._

Then the Boggart turned into a woman, dressed in a black dress, she was pretty, but she doesn't seemed a good person. She seemed crazy. Curls from the top of her head till her waist. Her long fingers holding her wand. Remus looked at the woman and had a bad feeling. He had 8 days till the full moon, so... He could scent Sirius' fear. Sirius pointed his wand to the woman. Remus could see his hand shaking like crazy. For a moment he thought that Sirius would faint.

 _\- Sirius, say it..._ \- he said.

Sirius held his wand firmly for a while.

_\- Oui..._

The woman looked at him.

_\- Je veux que tu démissionnes, car ça ne fonctionnera pas, tu n'es pas très bon... Je vais te torturer jusqu'à ce que vous abandonnez._

_\- Sirius... Say it!_ \- Remus said again.

_\- Riddi..._

The woman laughed.

_\- TU N'ES PAS TRÈS BON!_

_\- RIDDIKULUS!_ \- he said, but it doesn't worked, he was awful in defend himself.

Remus went to him and looked at the woman.

 _\- Le petite louve_ \- she said.

He stepped in front of Sirius. The Boggart turned into a full moon again.

 _\- Riddikulus!_ \- and the same red balloon appeared floating on the air.

Sirius couldn't say nothing. He was trembling and ashamed. He ran out the class.


	24. Desperate letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again, problems again. D:

Remus was confused. He went to Lily in the Great Hall, the girl was sitting next to Alice.

_\- Hm, Alice... I need to... Hm... I need to talk to Lily for while... You don't mind?_

Alice nodded, stood up and went towards Frank.

_\- What's up, Rem?_

The boy showed to Lily the letter he had received.

_\- I can't read the rest._

_\- Why not?_

_\- I... I don't know._

Lily began to read.

_\- "Dear Remus,_

_My blood it's not so relevant, unfortunately it wasn't what my family thinks. The elves say a lot of things at the same time, so sometimes, I can't understand. On this vacation my cousin brought a man to my house... But he wasn't the gentle kind. A man called Greyback. Fenrir Greyback...", who's Greyback?_

_\- I... Well... I don't know_ \- and Remus started to sweat.

_\- "I'm sure she took him there just to scare me. I'm tired and I wanted to run away... But I don't have a place to go. If I wasn't here I believe that no one there would miss me. My mother wants me to join You-know-who when I can, but I don't want to, I just want to sleep...", Rem, I'm worried. I don't know what can happen if it stay that house. It's worse than I thought._

_\- I-I... What can I do? It don't want to tell me its name._

_\- And even if we find out, it probably would change our memory_ \- Lily put the letter on the table and scratch her head trying to remember of something _\- And I think that just happened before, Remus, but I can't remember..._

_\- What did you say?_

Lily blushed.

_\- Hm... Yeah... I found your secret admirer, but one minute after I forgot. I knew everything, every answer, but I... I forgot._

_\- WHAT? DAMMIT! Why it doing this? Why it did this? What's the fucking problem in tell me everything that it need to tell me?_

_\- It's not for shame, Rem... I think it's not unnecessary. If it did this, it's just for a big reason, I dunno... See? Its mother wants to him to join you-know-who, it don't want to, it it isn't like that. Merlin knows what the fear do to people._

_\- What should I do then? What I write?_

_\- I don't know... Try to make it comfortable... Write with your heart._

\----------------------------------------------

In the History of Magic class, the Professor left the class to get some parchments. Sirius looked to the blackboard, lost in thoughts while James was sleeping and Peter was drawing Professor Binns in his alive form eating a piece of cheese. Remus was writing.

 

_"Dear I-don't-know-who-you-are,_

_I'm sorry for so many questions, I know you don't want to answer a lot of them, but... Greyback is dangerous, it's the only thing that I can tell about it. If you told me who you are... Perhaps I could hide you in my house for a month... You could live with me, but I have some problems. You don't need to be afraid, you're brave as Gryffindor, I know you are and I believe in you... And I would miss you if you weren't here. You don't will join You-know-who and your mother have to deal with it. I need that you tell me your name. Again, you don't have to be afraid, don't have to think, don't have to run... If it is so important to you, we can keep this secret and take it to our graves. I'm worried about you... Please, let me help you..._

 

_Remus Lupin"_

 

And Remus put the letter inside his History of Magic book.


	25. Welcome to the Black Parade

The letter was gone. There was nothing under the rug. Remus was in the library with Lily and Xenophilius and James was on his test for Gryffindor quidditch team, Peter was watching his test. Sirius decided to sleep, was sad, afraid and worried. He took a while til fall asleep and when he did, didn't have the break he was expecting.

\----------------------------------------------

_"When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band"_

The carnival. The sad and morbid carnival, again. He didn't want to be there, but he was. His father on his side, holding his hand. This time the man was using a mask, he didn't need to use, but... They was on a street, a long street. In the end of the street, was a carnival float, normal. Carnival floats on carnival paredes. His attention went to some shadows appearing on his peripherical vision.

_"He said, "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?", he said "Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made? Because one day I'll leave you, a phantom to lead you in the summer, to join The Black Parade."_

There was a lot of people using masks and in the carnival float, was him, flesh and blood, The Dark Lord. The pale face and no nose. A dark cloak hiding his body, serpent body, his arms moving slowly in his direction, the red eyes and a medallion as pendant.

_"When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band. He said, "Son when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?"_

Bellatrix was on his side, also using a mask.

_"Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me"_

_"Why do you resist, Sirius?"_

_"And other times I feel like I should go and through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets and when you're gone we want you all to know"_

_"Because I'm not like you!"_

The Dark Lord's laugh filled the air, like pollution. Disturbing.

_"The Black kid is not like us... I met a lot of people who told me the same thing, my child"_

_"We'll carry on, we'll carry on and though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on. We'll carry on and in my heart I can't contain it, the anthem won't explain it"_

A man took down his mask, his face burned by the most pure silver. The demoniac smile and on his hands, Regulus dead body. He started to cry desperatly.

_"A world that sends you reeling from decimated dreams. Your misery and hate will kill us all. So paint it black and take it back, let's shout it loud and clear, defiant to the end we hear the call"_

_"Non..."_

_"The quality of some people is the defect of others and you, Sirius... Was born defective"_

Bellatrix's voice didn't help much, in fact, he was worse than before. Greyback threw Regulus' body on the ground, as if he was nothing, and ran towards him. He ran away, but Greyback was faster, caught him and open his mouth to bite him.

_"Do or die, you'll never make me because the world will never take my heart. Go and try, you'll never break me. We want it all, we wanna play this part. I won't explain or say I'm sorry. I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scar. Give a cheer for all the broken. Listen here, because it's who we are. I'm just a man, I'm not a hero. Just a boy, who had to sing this song. I'm just a man, I'm not a hero. I don't care!"_

 

 

 

 


	26. Sirius' escape

James came back from his test ready to tell the news for Sirius. Peter and him was laughing. When they entered the dorm Sirius wasn't there. His bed was a mess, his bed sheet was wet. James raised an eyebrow and looked to Peter. Peter went to bathroom and, again, Sirius wasn't there. They went to the common room, Remus and Lily was studying, there was a lot of students, but... Sirius wasn't there. James   
went to Remus.

 _\- Excuse me... Remus, did you saw Sirius around?_  
 _\- Sirius? No... Why?_  
 _\- You didn't saw him leaving?_ \- Peter asked.  
 _\- No... What's happened?_  
 _\- I dunno... He vanished._

Remus got up.

_\- He didn't was on your test?_

James looked to Remus worried.

_\- No... He told me he wasn't feeling good and went to sleep. In my way to the castle I didn't saw him anywhere._

Lily looked to them, closed her books.

_\- Let's talk to McGonagall... Come on..._

They left the common room and went to McGonagall's class. In the way to the class, they looked for Sirius on the corridors. Nothing. Lily knocked on the door and they waited for the door to open. McGonagall open the door and told them to come in.

 _\- How can I help you?_  
 _\- Professor, Sirius vanished... No one saw him anywhere..._ \- Remus said.  
- _What did you say, Mr. Lupin?_  
 _\- He vanished, Professor! Puff!_ \- Peter said making a move with his hands.

McGonagall got up from her chair.

 _\- When did you saw him for the last time?_  
 _\- On the common room after History of magic class..._ \- James said.  
 _\- And there's something else, Professor..._ \- Lily said _\- Something weird._  
 _\- Yes?_  
 _\- In the DADA class we were learning how to fight against Boggarts_ \- Remus said - _and when was Sirius turn, the Boggart became a woman..._  
 _\- Woman?_  
 _\- Yeah, she said some things in French and... And when he tried to cast the spell, even if he said clearly, the spell failed_ \- Disse Remus - _I had to help, I cast the spell and then he ran away._

McGonagall went quickly to the door.

_\- You will go back to the common room. I'll look for him with Hagrid._   
_\- But..._   
_\- Mr. Lupin, you'll go back to the common room. NOW!_

And reluctant he left the class with James, Lily and Peter. When they were on the common room Remus and Peter went to the dorm. Peter went to the bathroom and Remus took a sweater, over his trunk, how ever, was a parchment. He began to read.

 

_"I don't blame you for the questions, but there's some things that I really can't tell you... I ain't got the power anymore. I can't tell you who I am, you'll be in danger. I'm not brave and you would be better if I hadn't the brilliant idea of write to you... I'll die before join myself with Voldemort or anyone else. You can't help me, but I appreciate anyways._

_Goodbye."_

 

Remus couldn't reason. What could he do? Didn't knew who was that person, but was happened something really bad with it on that day. He thought about Sirius, raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to delude himself, didn't want Sirius passing through bad things. It couldn't be Sirius. He went to the common room. McGonagall was there.

 _\- Do you found him?_ \- He asked.  
 _\- Yes..._  
 _\- So where he is?_  
 _\- In the Hospital wing, he will be transferred to St. Mungus._  
 _\- WHAT?_ \- He yelled.   
_\- Remus, calm down..._ \- James said - _He'll be ok..._  
 _\- It's not what your face are telling me now. What happened to him?_

McGonagall went silent. Lily raised her hands to hold Remus' hands and he sat next to her.

_\- Rem... Sirius was... He was in the Forbidden Forest... He did... Hm... Several cuts on his own body. Arms, legs, face..._

Remus was crying, but started to laugh. Nervous.

 _\- H-he... Tried to kill himself? IT'S THAT WHAT YOU MEAN? WHAT THE HELL HE... WHAT THE HELL..._  
 _\- Language, Mr. Lupin_ \- McGonagall said.   
_\- I want to go to the Hospital wing._  
 _\- You can't, Rem... They will take him to St. Mungus now._

Remus got up.

_\- Then I'll go to St. Mungus with... With him._   
_\- Mr. Lupin, there's nothing you can do about it now. I'm sorry._

Remus looked to McGonagall and went to the dorm. Lily looked to James and then to the Professor. She got up and went after Remus.

\----------------------------------------------

 _\- Remus..._ \- Lily called him, but he didn't answer _\- He's going to be fine._

Remus locked the dorm door and with his wand made a move on air.

_\- He's not going to be fine... No while he stay in that house._   
_\- What?_

Remus gave to Lily the letter. The girl read and opened her mouth. All the changed memories came back to her mind.

 _\- Sure!_ \- She said _\- In Cokeworth, he was with his cousin, Andromeda... They went to visit Ted... And all that questions... Remus, pay attention and keep this information, in case I forget..._ \- She thought _\- It's better write, in case he try to change your memory too._  
 _\- What?_  
 _\- WRITE!_

Remus did.

 _\- Right..._  
 _\- Cokeworth... Andromeda and him_ \- She said _\- Sirius' father is Orion, that's why just left four books in the bookshelf in the library, the rest of the history_ \- She said and Remus couldn't breath properly _\- Write! Come on! What's in the night sky? The most bright star on Canis Major constelation... Sirius._

Remus looked at her, put the parchment on his bed and his hands on his face. Started to cry again. His secret admirer was who he wanted, but Sirius was going to St. Mungus.

_\- Why he did this, Lil?_   
_\- I... I don't know... He may not take it anymore. The family and all that people changing his memory... You know... He can't even fight against a Boggart, imagine what his family do to him... They are aristocrats, they give money to St. Mungus and to the Ministry. The Ministry wouldn't disapprove their actions._   
_\- Sirius Black loves me? Why?_   
_\- Because you're a wonderful boy... Beautiful, brave, clever and attentive. Why he shouldn't love you?_   
_\- I don't know... Maybe 'cause there's a lot of girls and..._   
_\- All of them thinking on his money and his blood. You don't think like that..._   
_\- This is normal?_   
_\- Normal? What's normal to you?_   
_\- Are in love with a pure blood girl and marry her just to keep the blood. I don't know..._

Lily looked to him and sat next to him.

_\- Pure blood families think that way, Remus... And you know that, but you despise this, 'cause you disagree. And this is one of the reasons that made he fall in love with you._

Remus didn't knew what to say.

_\- I wish I could do more to him... I-I... I wanted to go to St. Mungus now, I..._   
_\- You love him too._

And, wiping away tears, he looked to Lily. He didn't need to say a word, Lily knew.


	27. When clues became facts

A lot of voices outside the room. All he could hear was a discussion. Andromeda and Walburga. Andromeda was brave, but sometimes it wasn't enough. He opened his eyes. That light again.

_"Hagrid, on this way..."_

_"No, Professor... He's here"_

And then everything turned dark, but he was happy, was leaving. What was the meaning of life? He was in love, but couldn't be happy anyways. His family wouldn't leave him in peace, wouldn't leave Remus in peace, what was a problem because they would deliver Remus' head in a tray to the Ministry, but Greyback would be free, walking in the streets like a normal man. He really couldn't arrange his thoughts, it was all a mess. All he needed was to forget, but if he cast the memory spell on himself, probably something would go wrong and he would stay in St. Mungus for the rest of his life. He rather be dead. The discussion outside the room became more clear.

 _"With all my respect to you, aunt... You're wrong..."_ Andromeda said and then he heard a snap.

_"Who the hell do you think you are, lady? Who the hell do you think you are to tell me if I am wrong or not?"_

_"Listen... It's not his fault! You, any time, you heard him say, in front of you, that he don't have proud of be a Black?"_

Sirius wasn't proud.

_"Never... But I know he doesn't have"_

_"Really? And why do you say that?"_

_"Studying in Gryffindor like the Longbottoms, the Potters, living with disgusting half-bloods, mudbloods... It's clear for me, Andromeda!"_

_"And this makes him guilty? What can you do with the Sorting Hat? What can you do if even Salazar Slytherin covenanted with this?"_

Sirius couldn't listen his mother's voice anymore, just screams of the healers on the hall. Walburga could back to Grimmauld Place.

" _Je suis très déçu_ , Andromeda..." Said Orion.

_"But..."_

Sirius closed his eyes. Was happy that Greyback hadn't told nothing about Remus' condition for the rest of his family. Perhaps the man had important things to do.

 _"They're gone?"_ Ted asked.

_"Yes..."_

Sirius could breathe, could try to concentrate. The door opened and Andromeda entered, right behind her, entered Ted. Sirius closed his eyes quickly.

_\- Calm down, Dromeda... Sirius will be fine._  
_\- I know... It's just that... I really don't know what to say. IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT! EVERYTHING!_  
_\- Don't talk so loud... He's sleeping..._  
_\- It's just... I feel so responsible for him... I don't know what I would do if something happens to him. I know he thinks that he's a trouble to me, you know? But he's not... I just want him to be happy, it's the only thing I want. But they're like Dementors, sucking his soul, his energy... They think they have control about everything, but they haven't. The Goddess have._  
_\- I agree... But there's nothing we can do about it... He's going to be fine, as soon as I deliver this to him..._  
_\- What's that?_  
_\- A letter... Someone asked me if I could give him and keep in secret, so I'll keep the secret, but... Trust me..._

Sirius opened his eyes and tried to stand up. Pretended that didn't have heard all the talk and looked to the couple in front of him.

 _\- Sirius..._ \- Andromeda said _\- How do you feeling?_  
_\- I think I'm fine... I heard screams, you're ok?_  
_\- Yes, I'm ok... Just worried with you. A lot of people are worried, in fact. People that are important to you, I mean..._  
_\- Who?_  
_\- Ted, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Remus, Hope and Lyall Lupin, Lily, Dumbledore, Reg, Minerva, Slughorn..._  
_\- Remus' parents are worried with me? They don't even know me..._  
_\- They came to visit me, Andromeda was there... Hope asked if you were feeling better, probably Remus told them... -_ Ted said _\- And before I forget..._ \- The man gave Sirius the letter and a box _\- We'll go drink tea, so you can read in peace... If you need something, call the healer and we'll be here in a hurry._

Sirius nodded. Andromeda and Ted left the room and Sirius looked to the parchment and to the box. He unfolded the parchment, afraid. It was a letter. Small and perfect handwriting. He didn't wanted to read, but at the same time he wanted.

 

_" **D** ear Sirius,_

_I've got some answers... As you can see I know who you are now. And no... I wouldn't be in danger, maybe your family, yes. I hate just one person in the world, Greyback. Hate blinds people, Sirius and with me is not different. You're brave, otherwise the Sorting hat wouldn't put you in Gryffindor. Don't say that, you don't know how I would deal... Don't say that never again. Don't repeat that. You will not join Voldemort. I want to help and I think this is a good thing, but you must let me help. You don't need to thank me, I didn't nothing. Now, please, come back as soon as you can. Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore didn't want me to go to St. Mungus. They think it would not be good to me... Don't say goodbye again, I don't like it. Gave me chills in my whole body. Please, don't repeat that. I'm sorry if sounded rude, it wasn't my intention. I just had to find a middle way between my worry, my fear and my angry. This is wise if you think about it. Come back soon, please. We need to talk. No letters, then._

  
_Remus Lupin_

 

_**PS:** Eat the chocolate and come back"_

 

Sirius was crying, he didn't want to think about the things Remus wanted to talk with him. He thought that he wasn't enough for Remus. Several thoughts passed through his mind and in all of them, Remus was punching him right in the nose with all the strenght that a werewolf would have. How could he look Remus in the eyes again? It wasn't possible that that goodbye note was enough for Remus to know who was writing all those letters. He was underestimating Remus. He was an idiot. _"I'm great in keeping secrets... Congratulations to me!"_ , Remus was clever and Lily was his friend. And also clever, _"She's clever as fuck"_. Two minds think better together. It was another level. _"I'm fucked..."_ , then he opened the box and there was a chocolate bar inside of it. Best HoneyDukes' chocolate bar. He smiled.


	28. Running

Peter and James were going to Slughorn's class, walking through the hall, but Peter has stopped, looking at the notice board.

 

  
_" **H** ogsmeade visit on Saturday_

_If you wanna go there you just need to ask the permissions terms with your house's headmasters/headmistress. The permissions terms must be delivered til Thursday, signed by your parents/tutors._

_**PS:** 13 years old to 17 years old, only_

_**H** ave a great day,_

_******* _

_**M** inerva **M** cGonagall_

_**D** eputy Headmistress"_

 

  
_\- What's up, Pete?_ \- James asked.

Peter smiled and pointed to the notice board. James went to him and read the note.

 _\- This is marvelous! I can invite Evans to drink a butterbeer. What do you think, Pete?_  
_\- I think she'll punch you..._  
_\- Oi!_  
_\- What? That's what I think... But if you want to risk... Good luck for you, then._  
_\- Hm, thanks... I guess..._  
_\- What are you looking at?_ \- Sirius asked.

James looked to him. Gave him a punch in the arm and then hugged him.

 _\- I thought you would come back tomorrow... You're ok? Better? Do you need anything?_  
_\- James, let him breath..._ \- Peter said.  
_\- Ok..._  
_\- Je vais bien... Je le crois..._  
_\- GOOD! NEVER DO THIS AGAIN! I HATE YOU!_ \- He yelled.

Peter looked to Sirius.

_\- Don't worry, he's a little bipolar these days._

Sirius nodded.

 _\- Did you saw Remus?_  
_\- Is already in Slug's class_ \- James answered.

Sirius' stomach was like a hurricane. _"Where's Gryffindor now?"_

 _\- You're ok?_ \- James asked.  
_\- O-oui..._  
_\- Let's go, then?_  
_\- I... I forgot my cauldron..._  
_\- There's no problem, you can use mine... We'll be together anyways..._

 _"Really, James? Nice..."_ he thought.

_\- O-ok... I g-guess..._

\----------------------------------------------

They entered in Slughorn's class. Sirius hid himself behind James and Peter. 

Slughorn looked to them.

_\- I'm glad you found my class! Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew. Mr. Black, your delay it's completely understandable. Do you feeling better?_

Remus looked to them. Sirius on James' back now. "Brilliant idea, Sirius... No one is paying attention on your height", he thought. Lily looked to Remus and giggled.

 _\- Y-es..._ \- He said shyly.  
_\- Good. I was worried... Please sit._

They sat. Narcisa looked to Sirius, worried and waved. He waved to her, but he knew she was just trying to keep up appearances and if the appearance it was so important to her, her worry it wasn't important to him. During class, Sirius couldn't look to Remus, he was shamed, so, when the class was over, he was the first to get up and leave, but on the hall he has stopped and looked to the notice board to read about Hogsmeade. He felt worse. Of course he couldn't go.

 _\- Hi..._ \- Remus said.

_"Fuck... Why I stopped for read this bullshit? I need more focus in my life..."_

_\- H-hi..._  
_\- You're ok?_

Siris kept looking to the notice board.

 _\- I don't know..._ \- He pointed the note about Hogsmeade.  
_\- Why you don't know? It's gonna be nice..._

Sirius nodded.

- _Yes, if I could go... I would think it was going to be nice_ \- And he started to walk, Remus followed him.  
_\- What do you mean?_  
_\- Do you really think that my parents will sign my permission?_  
_\- Merlin knows..._

Sirius smiled.

 _\- They'll not... Not after what I..._ \- He thought _\- Forget it... It's ok, I'll ask to James to buy some candies to me._

Remus thought a little.

_\- Hm, Sirius... Why are you running from me?_

Sirius thought that perhaps the hurricane in his stomach would get worse.

_\- I'm not... I-I'm not r-running..._  
_\- Yes, you are..._

Sirius blushed.

_\- I'm not, Rem... It's just that we have class now..._

Remus nodded.

_\- Ok... But don't think, even for a minute, that I will not charge you._

Sirius left.


	29. I'll be there

Sirius was sitting next to the lake, watching the squid. Was boring, but he liked. _"Don't feed the squid"_ was written on a board.

_\- Who cares? And if it is hungry?_

Then he threw a biscuit for the squid.

 _\- Dumbledore cares about it_ \- James said.   
_\- It needs to stop to go behind the Merpeople, it needs biscuits..._

 

_"I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do. Just call my name and I'll be there"_

 

James laughed, but then turned serious.

_\- Sirius..._   
_\- Hm?_   
_\- What happened?_

Sirius threw his last biscuit on the lake.

_\- I don't want to talk about it, ok?_   
_\- But you must... If everything that I want happens, Lily will be my girlfriend._   
_\- It's different, Potter._

James looked at the squid.

_\- I know... Ok, if you don't want to talk..._

Sirius looked at him.

 _\- Bellatrix took Fenrir Greyback to my house on Christmas..._  
 _\- Greyback? Who's Greyback?_  
 _\- The werewolf._  
 _\- WHAT?_  
 _\- Yes... Do you remember that day when Remus almost killed us? In the dorm? He told me about Greyback. My guess is that probably Remus really know about Greyback... I don't know how it works the hierarchy on a wolf's pack, but probably Greyback is the leader._   
\- Do you think Remus joins the pack on full moon nights?  
 _\- No... He don't do it._  
 _\- How do you know?_  
 _\- Cause I went to Cokeworth once, with my cousin, Andromeda, to visit Ted Tonks. It was full moon and I could heard him talk to me somehow. What I think is... Greyback is angry with Remus exactly because Remus don't obey the pack._  
 _\- Merlin! But..._ \- James looked at him - _It's not just this..._  
 _\- No... Bellatrix said that Greyback will join Voldemort, my mom is happy and said that, when I get older, I must join him too and I don't want this..._ \- Sirius started to cry.  
 _\- Of course you don't want... Nonsense!_  
 _\- Like I said... I rather be dead._  
 _\- No, Sirius... You rather fight. And this is what you'll do if you need. Because this is what **we** do._

Sirius giggled.

_\- Come on, James... I can't fight a Boggart..._   
_\- Remus can help you with this. He's good with this things._

Sirius giggled again and wiped away the tears.

_\- I can't look him in the eye, James..._   
_\- Why not?_   
_\- Because he found out who was writting to him._

James lay down on the grass.

 _\- What's the problem?_ \- He asked.  
 _\- The problem is that, probably, he hates me._  
 _\- I don't think so... He couldn't take his eyes off you on Slug's class._  
 _\- He, probably, was laughing inside himself of my idiot face._

James laughed.

- _If he didn't, I did - James looked to the sky - If he hated you, he wouldn't be so cautious. He would follow his friend exemple and would punch you right in the nose_ \- James laughed _\- Come on... Come on, let's play Exploding snap._

Sirius smiled.

 _\- Ok..._ \- He got up.


	30. The silver dog

James, Sirius and Peter was playing Exploding snap in the common room. It was Peter's third victory.

 _\- Come on, Pete... Again? Really?_ \- James said.  
 _\- I wanna a rematch!_ \- Sirius said.

Peter smiled.

 _\- Tomorrow, Sirius... I'm tired and hungry_ \- Peter said and got up _\- I'll check if the elves has some piece of pie._   
_\- I'm also tired! I'm tired of lose! Do you want to know why? James Potter never lose! I wanna a rematch! Pete, come here!_  
 _\- I'll have to arrange this? Seriously?_ \- Sirius asked.  
 _\- No! Let the cards on the table. We'll have our rematch!_

Sirius sighned. Got up and went to the dorm. Was planning learn spells, without anyone notice, perhaps would be better. He sat on his bed, with his curtains half opened. Held his wand with one hand and the book with the other. He needed at least try. He moved his wand quickly. Wrong.

 _\- Expecto Patronum!_ \- Nothing _\- Merde, boulet!_  
 _\- You moved your wand too quickly. The movement is slowly..._ \- Said a voice that came from the bathroom door.

Sirius didn't want Remus to see him training. Was shamed.

 _\- Whatever... I'll never produce a patronus._  
 _\- If you need, you will_ \- And Remus approached _\- Excuse me..._ \- He sat next to Sirius and held his hand to make the right move _\- Yes, this way... But you're not concentrating enough in a happy memory._  
 _\- I don't have a lot of it, you know?_  
 _\- I'm sure you have at least one. Use it._

\----------------------------------------------

 _"What a wonderful place"_ , Sirius thought. Then Regulus and him entered the store, behind them, the imposing, intimidating, Walburga Black. Wooden shelves everywhere, a lot of people testing their wands. Walburga told her sons to wait, cause Ollivanders was attending a little costumer. Sirius looked at the boy. He was holding a wand and was looking to Ollivanders, insecure.

 _\- Go on, son... Try something_ \- Said a man that was next to the boy.   
_\- Can I?_  
 _\- Sure..._ \- Said Ollivanders.

Sirius couldn't take his eyes off the boy. The tawny hair, almost redhead, huge scars on his face hiding little freckles. The boy moved the wand in the air.

_\- Expecto Patronum!_

And a powerful light came out from the wand. Blue, silver... Sirius didn't knew. And then the light became a wolf that walked slowly in the air, then the wolf lay down on Ollivanders' table and vanished in the air like smoke.

 _\- But... How?_ \- Ollivanders asked.   
_\- Reading, sir._  
 _\- So... I think it choosed Remus_ \- Said the man.  
 _\- Yes, dad._

\----------------------------------------------

Sirius looked to Remus. He had a happy memory, even if it was simple.

_\- Do you want to try again?_

Sirius nodded. Moved his wand.

_\- Expecto Patronum..._

From his wand just came a little light.

_\- Concentrating, Sirius..._

Sirius closed his eyes. It was like if he had 11 years old again. Then the light became a dog. A huge and silver dog. The dog lay down on his bed. Looking at him.

 _\- I think you can open your eyes now, Sirius_ \- Said Remus and Sirius opened his eyes _\- Better?_  
 _\- Yes..._  
 _\- In what you thought?_  
 _\- I thought about it my first time on Hogwarts Express_ \- Lied.

Remus smiled.


	31. No more secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Amino this time. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

In the breakfast, the owls began to deliver the letters. Lots of it were permissions to go to Hogsmeade. Sirius looked at all that smiles, heard all that laughter... _"Whatever..."_ , took a cup of coffee quickly. A letter fell on his hands when he put the mug on the table. _"Weird..."_ , he thought, opened the letter, _"whatever..."_ , he read. It was a permission to go to Hogsmeade, signed by his father. He frowned and then, smiled. Looked to James and showed the letter. James smiled.

 _\- Invite Remus. Three Broomsticks_ \- He whispered.  
_\- I can't say my own name in front of him, Potter..._ \- Sirius said, also whispering.  
_\- Sirius, I bet he's waiting..._ \- He said with his mouth full of bread.

Sirius looked to Remus, he was smiling, with his permission on his hands, talking to Lily.

_\- I don't know, James..._  
_\- Be happy once in a lifetime..._

Sirius smiled.

_\- I'll try, but if it goes wrong, it's your fault, Potter._

\----------------------------------------------

At night James, Sirius, Peter and Remus was on the dorm. Peter was reading a muggle comic, James was reading about Quidditch, but he looked above the book, his glasses almost falling down his face, Sirius looking at the moon and Remus looking to him. James stood up and looked to Peter that was laughing.

_\- Pete, I'm hungry... Let's find the blessed cake._  
_\- But..._  
_\- Pete... Come on..._

Peter stood up, a little annoyed. James covered his body with his cloak and Pete did the same with the other half of the cloth.

 _\- Do you guys want cake?_ \- He asked.  
_\- No, thanks, Pete..._ \- Remus answered politely.

James and Peter left the dorm and went to the kitchen. Sirius looked to Remus and Remus shooked his shoulders. Sirius stood up and went to Remus, siting on his side.

_\- I... I need to talk with you..._  
_\- Yes?_

Remus' eyes shining like the moon.

_\- My... My father gave me permission to go to Hogsmeade._

Remus smiled.

_\- That's great, Sirius!_

Sirius blushed.

_\- Yes... I think, somehow he tried to compensate me, but... Hm... I-I... I wanted to know if... If..._  
_\- If?_  
_\- I... You don't will laugh, right?_  
_\- No._

Sirius closed his eyes and imagined himself on his own on the dorm.

 _\- You... You want to go to the Three Broomsticks with me?_ \- Silence - _And this is the time you kick me out and I run?_  
_\- Sirius... Open your eyes, please_ \- Remus said and Sirius opened his eyes _\- We can go to Honeydukes first?_

Sirius would do anything, would go to any place.

_\- Wait... You wanna go? With me?_

Remus nodded.

_\- Sure, and... I need to talk to you..._  
_\- And this is the time I run?_

Remus laughed.

_\- No... Listen, I'm worried about you. I don't know exactly why you did that and this scares me._  
_\- W-why?_

Remus ran his fingers through Sirius' hair.

_\- Because one day, you really can die._  
_\- Listen, all the things I wrote on those letters are true. The elves... The memory spell, but Remus... You know what cancel the memory spell, don't you?_

Remus knew it, but that was terrible. Lily was right, he despised Sirius' family attitudes. It was disgusting.

_\- No, Sirius... No. It couldn't be..._  
_\- It couldn't, but this is what happens..._  
_\- You need to get out of there! I would take you to my house, but..._

Remus went silent.

_\- But you can't. Or at least you think that way._  
_\- What?_

Sirius smiled.

_\- I know what you are, I know about your secret, but I'm not afraid and I will not hate you for that._

Remus stood up quickly.

_\- I... I don't want to talk about it. Stop that! I don't want to... Talk about it!_

Sirius stood up and put his hand on Remus' shoulder.

_\- I'm s-sorry..._  
_\- It's not your fault, blame Fenrir Greyback!_  
_\- He... He... Bit you?_

Remus nodded and hugged himself, trying to hide.

 _\- Y-you didn't need to know._  
_\- I'm sorry, Rem... But the wolf told me_.

Remus felt a chill.

_\- Get out, Sirius!_

Sirius hugged him.

 _\- No... I think you didn't understand yet_ \- And Sirius found his lost bravery - _You didn't understand yet that I love you._

Remus waited for this day to come, but he wasn't expected that happened in that way. With him crying, scared.

_\- I understood, Sirius... But I don't know why._  
_\- What?_

Remus laughed.

_\- Take a good look in me... And take a good look at you..._

Sirius looked him in the eyes.

 _\- I know what you are talking about, Rem... And I disagree. My life isn't wonderful_ \- he said running his fingers through Remus' face, wiping his tears - _You know what happens on that house, Remus... And there's the elves, or... Or what's left from them._

Sirius didn't know if that moment was good for talk about that things.

_\- What do you mean?_

_"Fuck..."_ Sirius thought.

_\- Well... An auntie... She... Decided that would cut the elves heads when they getting old._  
_\- WHAT?_  
_\- Yes, and the family keeps the tradition. Heads and more heads exposed on the stairs of my house._

Remus didn't knew what to say, he hugged Sirius. 


	32. Regulus' mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame Amino again. c:

Hagrid's hair was full of little snowflakes. There was snow everywhere. Minerva, Slughorn, Flitwick and Sprout went with Hagrid. Far ahead was a boy, small boy, covered with a cloak. Remus had a bad feeling, he took Sirius by the arm and then pointed to the boy. Sirius raised an eyebrow, he would recognize that cloak anywhere, but why that boy was there? Sirius took James by the arm and James looked at the boy.

 _\- What the..._  
 _\- I don't know, Jam..._ \- Sirius said _\- But just for precaution, I have a plan._

Hagrid's voice interrupted him.

_\- You're free, free elves... Almost free, I mean._

Sirius looked to Remus.

 _\- Honeydukes, then? Jam, Pete... Do you wanna come?_  
 _\- Sure, Black!_ \- Peter said.

\----------------------------------------------

Remus' eyes shone like little diamonds when they arrived on Honeydukes. The candies in the showcase made him smile. Sirius looked at him and smiled too.

 _\- Are you going just to look the candies ou you'll going to eat, Moony?_ \- Sirius asked.

James olhou-o.

_\- Moony? Rem... Give this dignified gryffindork a punch right in the nose._

Remus smiled.

 _\- That's what I am, isn't it?_  
 _\- Sorry, I didn't mean..._ \- Sirius said blushing.   
_\- I didn't feel offended, in fact, I kinda liked it. And answering your question... I'm going to eat_ \- Remus opened the door _\- Gentlemen... Come in._

James, Sirius and Peter followed him. Remus went straight to the chocolate shelf. His friends never   
saw him so happy.

 _\- Hm... Let me see..._ \- Remus said _\- Charm chocs, chocoballs, chocolate cauldrons, chocolate frogs, chocolate skeletons, chocolate wands, Honeydukes best chocolate_ \- And Remus saw a pack of Toffees, quicly he put the pack in anyplace _\- Where did I stop? Oh, hm... Yes... Choco-loco._

Peter looked at Sirius.

 _\- But..._  
 _\- Let him..._ \- Sirius said, taking a pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

Remus took a pack of each chocolate. The exception was Honeydukes best chocolate, he took two packs. Sirius knew Remus' financial condition and went to him.

 _\- Let's pay?_ \- Remus asked.  
 _\- Oui, I pay for you._

Remus smiled.

_\- No, I'm poor, but I'm organized. I spend money with books and chocolate._

Sirius nodded.

\----------------------------------------------

When they left, Peter followed James, the boy went to Flourish and Blotts and Sirius went with Remus to the Three Broomsticks. The naturalness of things scared Peter, but he hadn't much to say.

_\- James?_   
_\- Hm?_   
_\- Why Sirius and Remus didn't came with us?_   
_\- Hm..._   
_\- Oh!_   
_\- Yes._   
_\- For real?_   
_\- Pete..._   
_\- Hm? Hm..._   
_\- Sério._   
_\- MERLIN AND MORDRED! This is wrong, isn't it?_   
_\- Are they harming you?_   
_\- No._   
_\- Hm..._   
_\- But..._   
_\- Hmmm..._   
_\- Ok._

Peter shooked his shoulders, if James said it was right, so... It was right.

\----------------------------------------------

Sirius was with James' invisibility cloak. He covered himself and then Remus. They went to the Three Broomsticks, sat in a table. Would be alright if they weren't feeling observed even with James' cloak. Remus looked at the table next to the wall on the other side of the pub.

 _\- Sirius..._ \- He whispered.

Sirius looked at the boy. It was Xenophilius, but that cloak... Was Regulus' cloak.

 _\- Weird..._  
 _\- What do you think?_ \- Remus asked.   
_\- It's Reg's cloak._  
 _\- Why on hell Xenophilius is with your brother's cloak?_  
 _\- Why on hell Xenophilius is here, alone, with my brother's cloak?_  
 _\- Well, Is Xeno... What did you expected?_  
 _\- But... There's something wrong..._

Remus held his hand.

_\- Don't worry 'bout that, perhaps he buyed in the same store._

Sirius nodded, suspicious.

_\- Anyways... I think it's better we get out of here._

James and Peter appeared in the door and Remus and Sirius went to them.

 _\- James..._ \- Sirius whispered.   
_\- Yes?_ \- James asked without without question from where Sirius' voice came.   
_\- We're leaving. Remus and I. Xenophilius is acting very strange_ \- He gave a break _\- He is with Regulus' cloak. The green cloak. If he try to follow us... Distract him. Hm... And... Buy some butter beer for us... Please._  
 _\- Gotcha!_

Sirius and Remus left and Xenophilius stood up when he saw the door opened and no one leave.

 _\- WHAT THE HELL ON EARTH A BRILLIANT RAVENCLAW IS DOING IN HERE ON HIS OWN?_ \- James asked screaming.

Xenophilius turned to James.

_\- Get out of the way, Potter!_   
_\- Potter? I thought we were friends._

Peter seemed dumb, but he wasn't. He noticed what James was trying to do, didn't knew the reason, but he knew the intention.

 _\- Oh! What a nice cloak, Xeno! Madam Malkin?_  
 _\- You both! Get out of my way!_  
 _\- Oh, no, no... I insist on paying you a beer..._ \- James said smiling.   
_\- Potter, I'm not interested on your invitation._  
 _\- Wow, you don't talk like Xenophilius. There's someone... Controling you?_

Xenophilius was angry, his face was red like hell.

 _\- I have no time for foolish things, Potter_ \- and he left.

James frowned and looked to Peter.

 _\- Polyjuice Potion_ \- Peter said - _Definitely isn't him._

\----------------------------------------------

Remus took Sirius to a place far from the stores and pubs. Sirius didn't knew the place, Remus on the other hand, knew it very well. Remus left the cloak and looked the horizon.

 _\- We can stay here if you want_ \- He said.  
 _\- HERE?_ \- Sirius asked looking at the house in ruins in front of him.  
 _\- Yes..._  
 _\- But... Is Shrieking Shack!_

Remus laughed.

_\- Respect... I stay here sometimes..._

Sirius choked.

_\- What? W-what do you mean?_   
_\- There's a secret passage in Hogwarts. It's secret, because I need it to be secret. The Whomping Willow... If you press it the right knot, the tree is paralyzed.  McGonagall take me there every full moon. She turn into a cat and press the knot, the Whomping Willow get paralyzed and a tunnel opens, then... McGonagall leave me there on my own so I can transform myself and I come to here._

Sirius didn't knew what to say. He opened his mouth.

 _\- Dumbledore..._ \- Sirius continued - _When I was 11 years old, he thought was better visit me, then he come to my house. He played a muggle game with me, then he said it was not a problem for me study in Hogwarts, cause he had planted a tree and builded a house. He talked to my parents... My mom was afraid, but you know Dumbledore..._

Sirius huged Remus and Remus huged him back, but... Again, someone was observing. Next to the wire fence, was Xenophilius Lovegood. Remus walked away a little bit from Sirius and looked to the other boy.

_\- Sirius! Qu'est-ce que tu fais là?_

Sirius raised an eyebrow and looked to the boy.

 _\- Quoi?_  
 _\- Qu'est-ce que tu fais là?_  
 _\- Je marche_ \- Sirius answered.

Remus looked to the boy, Xenophilius didn't speak french. A thought pass through his mind.

 _\- How can I be so idiot? Of course..._ \- He said.  
 _\- If you're an idiot I don't know... I just... Wanted yo know what you're doing in here with my brother... You... Half-blood..._

And Xenophilius' face was melting, the blonde hair became black, the blue eyes became grey. Regulus pointed his wand to Remus.

 _\- Arrêtez, Reg!_ \- Sirius yelled.

Remus pointed his wand to Regulus. Regulus frowned and then raised his eyebrows.

 _\- Je suis impressionné..._ \- He said shaking, then he pointed his wand to Sirius.   
_\- Arrêtez, Regulus!_  
 _\- Non..._ \- And Regulus began to cry - _Pardon... CRUCIO!_

Sirius fell on the cold grass covered with snow. He wasn't with cold, he can't think about nothing.

 _\- Expelliarmus!_ \- Remus said with his wand pointed to Regulus, when the wand flew, Remus caught it in the air.

Regulus began to cry desperately.

_\- Pardon, Sirius, pardon..._

_\- It's just a Crucio... Why I wouldn't forgive you? Do you forget too quickly of your promises, didn't you? You are one of them now, aren't you?_

Remus didn't knew what to do, that brother fight had gone too far.

 _\- Sirius... We need to go._ \- Remus said.  
 _\- We need? I don't know... Well... I don't trust in my own brother anymore. WHO SENT YOU HERE?_  
 _\- M-maman..._  
 _\- Maman? You know very well how things works in that house and you don't have the capacity of think different? You are one of them now,_  
 _for real._  
 _\- Sirius... Come on..._ \- Remus said.

Sirius pointed his wand to Regulus.

 _\- Sirius... Stop!_  
 _\- Obliviate..._ \- He said making a move with his wand.

Regulus looked at him, had stopped crying, didn't knew where he was. Sirius turned the wand down and then pointed the wand again to   
Regulus.

_\- You didn't see nothing, right?_   
_\- Right._   
_\- Good._

He made another move with his wand and then Regulus turn his back and left.

_\- Sirius... What did you do?_   
_\- Not a big deal._   
_\- You're ok?_   
_\- No._

Remus sat down next to Sirius and huged him.

_\- I think... If Reg was one of them, we have nothing to say._   
_\- IT'S MY BROTHER, MOONY!_   
_\- I know, but everybody has their lives and theire choices... Maybe someday he notice that this is wrong._

Sirius was crying.

_\- M-My brother..._

Remus stood up.

 _\- Come on, we need to go_ \- He said helping Sirius.


End file.
